Obama Doesn’t Control The Weather, I Do

For the first time I can reveal that my bicycling prevented a category 6 hurricane from hitting Iowa two weeks ago. I’m 97% certain about this.

Additionally, I drove to Denver on Saturday – which caused considerable climate disruption that prevented the West Antarctic Ice Sheet from collapsing and drowning New York.

Snow truly was a thing of the past – until that evening in 2002 when I ate too much chili.

And finally, my pet butterfly flapped his wings in June – which caused Arctic ice to come roaring back this summer.

About Tony Heller

Just having fun
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8 Responses to Obama Doesn’t Control The Weather, I Do

  1. zip adee says:

    We are not worthy, Bill.

    • zip adee says:

      My bad, Steve (not Bill). Unfortunately for you, that slip was carryover from earlier twitter replies to Bill McKitten. Won’t happen again, I don’t think. This getting old shit ain’t for sissy’s.

  2. scizzorbill says:

    You will be nominated for a Nobel prize.

  3. shazaam says:

    Now back off on the “intercepts” and “roof hits”. That’s Oh-Blame-Ya territory.

  4. slimething says:

    How do you know it wasn’t a butterfly and not you?

  5. Byron says:

    I’m still devastated over the Y2K jelly ripping a hole in the ozone thingy. Please have responsible sex.

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