Agamemnon sacrificing Iphigenia
One of the earliest, and most successful, efforts at climate legislation occurred in about the 14th century B.C. Agamemnon, commander of the Achaeans, sought to recover his brother’s wife Helen, who had been abducted by Paris of Troy.
He suffered from a climate problem though. For ten years the wind kept blowing the wrong direction to sail to Troy. Agamemnon tried all of the state of the art climate modification tools at his disposal (animal sacrifice etc.) but nothing was working. Finally, his top science advisor Calchas came up with a solution. Agamemnon needed to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia. This upset his wife, but proved to be an effective solution to his climate problem. Agamemnon eventually snuck into Troy inside a wooden horse and burned the city to the ground, only to discover that Helen liked it better there anyway. Agamemnon’s wife Clytemnestra then killed him.
About 3,000 years later, the Aztecs ratcheted the climate legislation up a notch. They sacrificed about 20,000 people a year to keep the sun moving, the rain falling, and to stop climate change. This approach seems to have been ineffective however, as the Spaniards invaded and wiped out the peaceful Aztec culture.
More recently, governments have devised a new approach to legislating the climate. Their scheme involves sacrificing billions of dollars which will be involuntarily extracted from their subjects. Normally this money would go to feed and clothe families and pay for children’s college education. Rather than direct human sacrifice, the Congress has chosen to take a more nuanced approach.
With the highly sophisticated tools available in the 21st century, the US Congress believes that they can control the temperature to within a tenth of a degree – one hundred years into the future. (It is not clear if this is before or after TOBS and homogenization adjustments.)
I propose an experiment to test their theory. A much simpler problem than controlling the climate in 100 years would be to demonstrate that they can control the weather, say next weekend. If Congress can demonstrate some skill at controlling the short term weather, it will be much easier to convince people that they can fine tune the climate next century.
The other half of their climate legislation is to make America “energy independent.” Given that Congress can control Natural Law, I propose a simple solution. They should repeal the First law of Thermodynamics.” This would make energy availability infinite and end our dependency on Middle Eastern oil. A top scientist in Springfield has already developed a solution.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy0UBpagsu8]
Sacrifice, surrender, give up to … whom and for what?
Ayn Rand had these words of wisdom about sacrifice in her novel, The Fountainhead: