Deciphering The Met Office

Posted on November 27, 2010 by Tony Heller

Some confusing communications have been released this week from the Met Office. The reason they are confusing is because we are not educated enough to understand them, but I will attempt to explain them here.

The area in red above is warming caused by burning coal. The area in blue is cooling caused by burning coal. You are also allowed to believe that cooling didn’t happen.

Looking at the longer term picture below, again red regions represent warming caused by burning coal, and blue regions represent cooling caused by burning coal.

The science is actually quite simple. Whatever trend numbers you come up with (after adjustments) you simply declare the slope to be upwards – and then blame it on burning coal.

Hope this helps.

About Tony Heller

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3 Responses to Deciphering The Met Office

  1. omnologos says:
    November 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    Now I remember!!

    http://omniclimate.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/how-to-be-right-about-the-climate-always/

    If you are a climatologist and you want to survive as a climatologist, perhaps even increasing your reputation, all you have to do is provide the exact diagnosis and prognosis that people expect.

    To the question “Is the climate changing?“, by all means, never, ever reply “No, everything’s normal“, or “It’s just fakery pumped up by newspapers and on television“: because people would unanimously conclude that you understand nothing about meteorology, and nothing about climate.

    It would be the end of your career.

    The only sensible answer is: “Of course it is changing! It’s a well-known fact, scientifically confirmed and something that none cannot argue against“. You can then launch yourself in forecasting for the next hundred years a climate identical to the current one, amplifying the latest phenomena to extreme consequences.

    If it is cold you’ll therefore predict “ice ages“, if it’s warm a “torrid period“, and if there are signs of strong variability “short-term climatic extremes” and more-or-less the same climate in the long term.

    You may be wondering, how can a serious climatologist provide impossible, mutually-excluding forecasts without looking silly? Fear not: science will provide all the support needed.

    Because climatology has already thought of everything and will supply the right solution in every circumstance, even in the most hopeless cases.

    (text continues with example replies in case it’s warm or cold)

    The above was written “in jest” by an Italian climatologist in 1982. He is currently an AGWer (by pure chance, no doubt).

    Reply
  3. Lazarus says:
    November 30, 2010 at 11:11 am

    “The reason they are confusing is because we are not educated enough to understand them, but I will attempt to explain them here.”

    Well no one can claim you are crippled with humility.

    Reply

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