Important Laws Of Climate Change

  • Cold weather is not climate
  • The US occupies a tiny fraction of the earth’s surface
  • Hot weather in Moscow is representative of the planet
  • If the present refuses to get warmer, adjust it upwards
  • If the present refuses to get warmer, the past must become cooler
  • GISS can always squeeze an extra 0.01 degrees out when marketing needs it
  • Cold is just another manifestation of heat
  • Whatever the weather is, the climate models predicted it
  • Government funding is pure. Imaginary oil money is dirty
  • All coral atolls were exactly 130 meters above sea level at the end of the last ice age, and are about to drown now
  • Sea level is rising dramatically – somewhere else
  • Temperatures are rising dramatically – somewhere else
  • Global warming selectively targets the poor
  • The weather is much more extreme now than it was before 24 hour cable news service started
  • When CO2 hits XXX ppm, the poop is really going to hit the fan

About Tony Heller

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26 Responses to Important Laws Of Climate Change

  1. Otter says:

    Research is only valid if we (pro-agw) agree with it.

  2. Travis says:

    Only stupid people don’t believe what we say.

  3. Latitude says:

    ..climate science does not have to be falsified

    • Mike Davis says:

      That is the beauty of Climate Science, It can not be unless it does not promote a future catastrophe. In that case it is done wrong by non qualified shills for “BIG Oil”

  4. Ivan says:

    ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

  5. Old Goat says:

    “Records began” a couple of hindred years ago – before then, weather and climate didn’t exist, therefore any extremes were irrelevant…

  6. suyts says:

    The science is always settled regardless of how many times we change the underpinning science.

    • Mike Davis says:

      You only think it has changed!
      It is the same science developed over 100 years ago. It was misrepresented by the “Well Funded” sceptics that spend 1 dollar to our 1,00 dollars on propaganda!

  7. William Teach says:

    Someone (else) has to change their behavior to avoid the end of Gaia!

    Snow is caused by someone driving an SUV

    The Sun and water vapor are minor players in the climate

    Mankind caused the warm periods in the past just by existing

  8. glacierman says:

    When a Team Study is refuted, hurry out another study using “independant” methods that show the first study got the correct answer in spite of being flawed.

    • Mike Davis says:

      It was not “Really” refuted because the “Refuters” did not understand what they were looking at! If you are not part of the “IN- Crowd” you do not have the encryption key that allows deciphering the Al-Gore-Rhythm!

  9. glacierman says:

    Even though it is not warming, this is evidence that we are almost at a tipping point, after which it will be really bad.

  10. Andy Weiss says:

    Another rule is that the 1930’s Dust Bowl never happened. It was all a figment of John Steinbeck’s imagination. Summers are much hotter now than then.

    • glacierman says:

      And the MWP was local….well maybe regional..at best.

      Anyway, we must get rid of the MWP so the simpletons don’t misunderstand that it never happened.

  11. glacierman says:

    Another rule, or an addendum to another one:

    Coral atolls no longer grow like they did before man disrupted the climate, globally.

  12. Andy Weiss says:

    Another climate science law. Satellite data is far more accurate than the crude thermometers used during the Stone Age times prior to 1979. We had little or no ability to measure the temperature prior to 1979, so all that data should be either adjusted or thrown out.

    Also thermometers along runways and it the path of jet exhaust are the most accurate thermometers.

  13. Andy Weiss says:

    Another law. Since 1979 was the coldest year in recent history, that is the benchmark that we use to “prove” warming. If it’s warmer than the coldest year on record, there must be warming.

  14. Alan S. Blue says:

    1) Historians are not climatologists, and thus must be treated as merely providing anecdotal evidence when they make claims of, say, five wheat growing seasons in Egypt during the Roman Climate Optimum. Or discussing the ranges of wheat-growing versus rye-growing during the Medieval Warm Period. Or, hell, naming the periods.

    2) It’s easier to believe that a “scientist” in 1900 with a bog-standard mercury thermometer was simply too incompetent to read the instrument to within 300% of the calibrated markings than it is to believe that pavement, barbeque, or perhaps jet exhaust might have anything to do with discrepancies between raw surface temperature data and satellite data.

  15. truthsword says:

    As usual you have missed the point. Even though those ‘laws’ are amusing and mostly true, you failed to add our most important ‘law’; No matter what happens in climate, we have said all along that is what may happen, and it is not inconsistant with AWG.
    We have always said all along this was our most important ‘law’, really all the others just point to this one anyway. Quit mischaracterizing us climate scientists as we have known all along you would.

  16. Nobama says:

    Hot is hot and so is cold, but only when we say so.
    The poor are most affected. So give us your money; we’ll take it to them. Honest.
    Soon there will be a crisis. We can avoid this by having the crisis before it gets here.
    If we like what you say, you’re an expert, even if you’re really just a horny sex poodle.

  17. DERise says:

    The frequency and magnitude of ALL catestrophic natural disasters (such as Hurricanes, droughts, floods, earthquakes, volcanos, meteor strikes, etc.), and the resultant death/destruction/misery caused is increasing and is ALL due to Man Made Global Warming.
    This differs from the Principle of the Fault of Global Warming which states that: “Any negitive change to any Environmental, Socio-Economic, or Geo-political system or sub-system can be ascribed to Man Made Global Warming, with a peer reviewed paper as proof (or at least an article in a mountian climbing magazine ).”

  18. Justa Joe says:

    Any “study” that presumes that there is AGW is proof of AGW.
    -Namoi Oresckes

    Even though AGW is probably bunk we must act because we’d be doing the right thing for the environment
    -Pick any Warmist

    Humanity is not part of nature. Therefore anything man does is detrimental to nature somehow.

    Heads I win. Tails you lose. I’m mean it’s cold outside because it is warming.

    Sub-zero temperatures are conducive to a lot of ice melting.

  19. Howard T. Lewis III says:

    I honestly believe all this climate change carbon trade crap is to provide ambient ideal storage conditions for the artworks of (and stolen by) Europe. They have lost their slave empires you know.

  20. omnologos says:

    Some “laws” are already in my “Why AGW Is Logically Impossible” page of miracles…hopefully nobody will get upset if I add some more from the above…

  21. ae911 says:

    Cold weather is not climate…. Who said this?

    The US occupies a tiny fraction of the earth’s surface…..Yes it does when you count all the oceans and land mass. North and South America combined totals only 8.3% of the worlds surface.

    Hot weather in Moscow is representative of the planet….The Median temperature for a year is taken from all the readings from around the world. You and the skeptics keep using one off events as Science…they are just localised weather reports.

    If the present refuses to get warmer, adjust it upwards…….SO NO reason for CO2 to increase.
    If the present refuses to get warmer, the past must become cooler……….Make enough stupid statements and people will believe nothing is wrong.
    GISS can always squeeze an extra 0.01 degrees out when marketing needs it……Repeat the statement in “adjust it upwards” and hope no one notices.

    Cold is just another manifestation of heat…….The stupidity of statements is getting worse
    Whatever the weather is, the climate models predicted it…….The Climate models predict long term trends not short term weather events.

    Government funding is pure. Imaginary oil money is dirty…..Ask people in Nigeria or Alaska about the clean Oil money destroying their country…Exxon/BP Oil spill. Shells leaking pipes in Nigerian Villages. The Oil companies asked for cars to get better mileage…really. I thought they had SUV’s made exempt from better gas mileage.
    All coral atolls were exactly 130 meters above sea level at the end of the last ice age, and are about to drown now Show me a Coral Atoll that survives more than 10 meters out of water.The last ice age had sea levels 270 meters below present day levels. So according to you fact checked statements they drowned long ago
    Sea level is rising dramatically – somewhere else… It is rising slowly but when skeptics think in weekly terms its hard to explain decade or century long changes
    Temperatures are rising dramatically – somewhere else…..The third statement about temperatures rising and just as stupid as the others
    Global warming selectively targets the poor….Another generalised statement with no facts to back it up.
    The weather is much more extreme now than it was before 24 hour cable news service started…..The weather reports are far more detailed as more satellites are put up and more measuring devices are placed around the world. The advances in telecommunications and the Internet have expanded information greatly. The First worldwide satellite hook up was in 1967. Global Warming doesn’t do weather reports.
    When CO2 hits XXX ppm, the poop is really going to hit the fan……Yes based on the previous mass extinctions one of which I sent you but you refuse to read.

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