Hunting Grizzly With A .22

You don’t exactly have to be Grizzly Adams to know that if you go out to shoot an Alaskan bear, there is one rule that rises above all others. Whatever you do, just don’t wound the bear.

Kill it, miss it, don’t shoot, run and hide, whatever. But if you hit it, you better kill it. Because the last thing you want coming after you is an angry wounded Alaskan bear with nothing to lose.

This is particularly true of the famed mother grizzly bears of which Sarah Palin has warned us Lower 48’ers about.

“In Alaska, I always think of the mama grizzly bears that rise up on their hind legs when somebody is coming to attack their cubs, to do something adverse toward their cubs,” she told us a while back. “You thought pit bulls were tough, well you don’t want to mess with the mama grizzlies.”

Unfortunately for liberals everywhere and professional Republicans here in Washington, Mrs. Palin’s wildlife lesson came too late. Or, so ascendant into their rarified air from the brutalities of nature or the concept of actual consequences in life, they simply failed to heed her wise counsel.

So, for years now, these liberals and professional Republicans have been out hunting this powerful, ferocious Mama Grizzly. Being mostly sissies from the city or generally opposed to gun ownership, none of them have been properly armed.

The Palin-hating left go after her with their peashooters, homemade slingshots and bullhorns that only annoy the Mama Grizzly.

Even funnier to watch are the professional Republicans who have had such heartburn ever since the Mama Grizzly was invited into their country club, causing scenes and tipping over cocktail carts with her wide swagger.

These fellows profess to cherish their Second Amendment rights but the best they can muster is a .22 target rifle like the ones skiers use in that ridiculous Winter Olympics competition. Even with aim worthy of an Eagle Scout badge, these small loads just bounce off bear hide.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/

About Tony Heller

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14 Responses to Hunting Grizzly With A .22

  1. suyts says:

    lol, funny analogy. And true.

    I’ve a real life story to that end. A fellow soldier at Ft. Wainwright fashioned himself as a great hunter. He was keen on bow hunting. He and two other “great hunters” decided to hunt bear with bows. Apparently, one or two of them had been successful at something similar in Arkansas or some such place. They invited me along, I think because I also had hunting stories to relate. And I had actually been bear hunting up there before! It wasn’t until I was out there did I realize that I didn’t want to encounter a bear, and happily, we didn’t. And no, it wasn’t with a bow that I was armed. And though I was told a 30-06 would suffice, I wasn’t comfortable with it.

    Now, the excursion these people planned wasn’t very legal. One is suppose to hire a guide for such trips, but I’m pretty sure there would be no guide that would participate in something like that. I did inform them that a bow wouldn’t suffice, but they were undeterred and besides, they said, they had their sidearms if anything went wrong. As I recollect, one made it back.

    Nature’s way of culling the herd.

  2. Al Gored says:

    “In Alaska, I always think of the mama grizzly bears that rise up on their hind legs when somebody is coming to attack their cubs, to do something adverse toward their cubs,”

    In reality, all genders of bears will do this and they are not doing it to attack but to scent or see something not yet identified. Bears initiate attacks on all fours, and most of the time they make bluff charges without contact – which look real enough!

    suyts – Lots of grizzly bears have been killed by bows and arrows in modern times as well as by Indians for thousands of years. Pope and Young proved their effectiveness in the 1920s, using fascimile traditional bows, by killing four grizzlies, including one monster, with four arrows… that is one arrow each. Trick is to hit them in the right spot and, when using a bow, to shoot from a safe spot or have multiple shooters.

  3. Ill wind blowing says:

    Isn’t “Mama” Palin the one who stood on her hind legs, turned around, and ran away from Alaska’s governorship?

    • P.J. says:

      If you were governor of Alaska and had a chance to run for Vice-President, wouldn’t you leave?

    • suyts says:

      I think we can all agree, that was for the benefit of her state. Would that we’d have federal politicians that had the same sense of self-sacrifice and duty towards their charges.

      • Ill wind blowing says:

        Amazing spin.

        If she were to win the Presidency and then quit in mid-term would that also be for the good of the country?

      • suyts says:

        If the media, and private citizens misapplied the legal system as they did Alaska’s to the point of the administration not being able to carry out the people’s business, yes.

        I don’t understand how you can call that spin, it is what she stated. And, it is clearly obvious by now that she’s no shrinking violet. She doesn’t back away from fights with either the media or the left.
        Further, lately she’s been kicking their azz in the PR dept. Which, is an amazing coup considering the Paul Revere dust up.

      • P.J. says:

        “If she were to win the Presidency and then quit in mid-term would that also be for the good of the country?”

        If she was doing as poor a job as Obama, then absolutely!

    • Latitude says:

      I thought she made it very clear….at least if you listen
      She left the governorship because she was too big of a detraction, which was not good for the state and was interfering with her ability to govern. She also left the state in good hands.
      It would be one thing if anything had happened…
      …but nothing even hiccuped since she left

  4. Al Gored says:

    Good thing Hillary didn’t quit early… or a lot of people would be incredible hypocrites.

    Palin was great as Governor of Alaska. I became a big fan when she stood up to the EPA et al liars on the ‘disappearing’ polar bears. Very few politicians have the guts to take on that gang, especially with that kind of propaganda campaign going on.

    Sure hope she doesn’t run for President though. And I doubt if she will. Too smart for that, I hope.

  5. Blade says:

    Just for the record, this article was *not* authored by Charles Krauthammer, George Will, Fred Barnes or Bill O’Reilly and his cadre of blonde bimbos, to name but a few Republicrats.

    As a rule of thumb, anyone that they dismiss as being out of touch is okay by me.

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