Next Mainstream News Release

I went ahead and wrote their next press release for them

Unpredictable ice conditions caused by global warming have made the rest of our trip impossible this year. Congratulations to the team for successfully navigating all the way from Vancouver to the mouth of the McKenzie River.

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11 Responses to Next Mainstream News Release

  1. Andy Oz says:

    Next Mainstream facebook entry: “Begorrah!!! Where the f*** did all this ice come from!!!! Get that pinhead Reggie on the Satphone. Now!!”
    http://lance-modis.eosdis.nasa.gov/imagery/subsets/?mosaic=Arctic
    😀

    • Andy Oz says:

      Andy 7777 posted that they heard on the radio that the rowers had been rescued by a fishing vessel due to ice accident and towed to shore. Anyone in Canada able to confirm this and the condition of the rowers?

  2. Pathway says:

    “Stupid is as stupid does.”

  3. Chewage says:

    One of their conditions for borrowing the vessel was to never give up, so it’ll just be a bit of a delay before they shove off again:)
    At least they have decent cruising conditions along the coast with 46 – 76 degrees F, which just happens to be spectacular hunting temperatures for the big beasts of the north:).
    Their blood sugar really comes out nice and tantalizing when perspiring quite heavily, however, they might just be doing some target practicing with those 12 gauge slugs whilst they take a nice relaxing break…

  4. There Is No Substitute for Victory says:

    I just hope that they know better than to eat the polar bear livers, that they like seal blubber and that they all know how to sew a good pair of muckaluks. That could all come in handy about 12 months from now.

    • Chewage says:

      Not even the Natives here in interior Alaska will eat Brown Bear (any part of it) and I wouldn’t be surprised if Polar Bear was just as nasty.

  5. Jimmy Haigh. says:

    Where’s Reggie? Any news to report?

  6. Robertv says:

    “polar bears are a real danger on our journey and we need to be prepared. ”

    http://mainstreamlastfirst.com/you-know-things-are-getting-serious-when/

  7. Sundance says:

    Steve the green rent seeking corporatists behind this corporate marketing charade will see to it that a warning of eminent demise of the planet be included in the press release and that green energy is mentioned as the only thing that can save us.

  8. I think they were overcome by heat-stroke!

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