In order to become a highly respected climate scientist, follow these simple guidelines.
- Adjust recent temperatures upwards, and older temperatures downwards
- Adjust the data to compensate for the fact that UHI effects cause incorrectly low recent temperature readings
- Because they don’t agree with the adjusted temperatures from steps one and two, throw out all tree ring data after 1960 (CO2 messed the trees up)
- Refuse to debate
- Call anyone who objects to your criminal activity a paid oil industry stooge
- Be welcomed as a hero at the White House
5. Call anyone who objects to your criminal activity a paid oil industry stooge and a denier of rapidly rising global surface temperatures (despite 16+ years of none). Co2 is a magical gas.
In order to become a highly respected climate scientist, you need the following traits:
1. Have a below average IQ
2. Be a follower, not a leader
3. Have a Napoleon complex
4. Suffer from chicken little syndrome
5. Believe in unnatural selection
7. Comparing temperature records from the past to those of the present is a very stupid way of determining warming. Only expert climate scientists with their supercomputers can really tell if it is warming.
8. The increasing urban heat island affect is a sound basis to warm the present and cool the past.
9. Only climate experts know how to correctly site stations, with the proper amount of asphalt, concrete and air conditioning exhaust.
10. Time began in 1970. Eliminate those dirty 30’s and nasty 50’s when most high temperature records were actually set.