George Washington Arrested For Profiling

George Washington was arrested today for profiling suspicious looking people in red coats. The DOJ says that this goes against every principle the country was founded on.

About Tony Heller

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7 Responses to George Washington Arrested For Profiling

  1. Chewer, says:

    If he was wearing a leather jacket, carrying a nightstick and saying Poly want a Cracka, he’d be let go, Scot free:)

  2. Marian says:

    George Washington still has a warrant out for his arrest. For chopping down the cherry tree.

    The tree was the tipping point to causing climate chaos in the USA. According to extreme radical environmental Climate Change Academics who’ve done the modelling. The cherry tree was a special variety of highly carbon absorbing type and was the last of its species. 🙂

    • Richard T. Fowler says:

      Strange, I had been led to believe by this blog that his most notorious crime was driving a luxury horse. RTF

    • Andy DC says:

      When George Washington chopped down that cherry tree, it was the beginning of the great deforestation by greedy, heteronormative white males that has led to the runaway climate change we face today.

      That statement alone on my resume should easily get me a $200,000 a year professorship with one of the “Great Universities”!

      • DarrylB says:

        You are all wrong – it was a butterfly flapping his wings (or her wings-do not want to be sexist) that started the whole climate change thing.

  3. darwin says:

    The DOJ added more charges to the growing list faced by George Washington. Mr. Washington thanked God today … in public and within earshot of several bystanders. Some bystanders were enraged that Mr. Washington dare try to force his religion upon them and called police who promptly arrested him. After Mr. Washington was led away the offended bystanders were seen marveling at a group of Muslim kneeling, facing Mecca and praying loudly. The bystanders thanked the Muslims for sharing their religion and culture with them.

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