Canadian/Greenland Bears Have To Swim Through Zero Miles Of Ocean To Reach The Ice

http://www.arctic.io/observations/8/2011-07-31/5-N79.568501-W67.061524

About Tony Heller

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8 Responses to Canadian/Greenland Bears Have To Swim Through Zero Miles Of Ocean To Reach The Ice

  1. Andy WeissDC says:

    So the bears are not doomed, at least not until 2020 when IWB’s alleged ice free Arctic kicks in.

  2. Grumpy Grampy ;) says:

    If the world survives the expected problem on 11-11-11 the survivors still need to face 12-12-12 calendar date. After those events we can discuss 2020 which would happen on 2-20-2020! 😉 or 8)

  3. Grumpy Grampy ;) says:

    n ice free Arctic would promote biologic diversity in the region allowing more expansion of the bear population.

  4. Rick K says:

    Hi Everyone, and Welcome to another exciting show of ‘Climate Jeopardy!’

    Our contestants today are James Hansen, famous climate scientist. Al Gore, famous for winning Nobel prizes and Oscar awards for fictional crap, and YOU, just a regular person!

    Who can win today’s Climate Jeopardy? Let’s find out!!

    Question: How many miles of open ocean water do polar bears in Greenland and Canada have to swim to get to the ice?

    [Insert Jeopardy! tune here…]

    Ding! Times up! Pencils down!

    Contestant Number 1, James Hansen – friend of Al Gore who wants people imprisoned for global warming sins, what is your answer?

    “My answer is 600 miles.”

    “Sorry, that is incorrect. Your total prize winnings are now below zero… very close to the temperatures in the high Arctic! Perhaps you should change your name to ‘Irony.’”

    Contestant Number 2, Al Gore – AGW High Priest, liar, liberal, divorced, school dropout, crazed sex poodle and democrat VP, what is your answer?

    “Uh, my answer is zero because the entire Arctic has not only melted but evaporated due to the extreme heat at the North Pole.”

    “Sorry, that is insanely wrong. Your answer, like you, is a sham! And a mockery! It’s a… Shamockery! Not only false, but scornfully contemptuous in its incorrectness! Your total prize winnings are likewise below zero. At least now they match your IQ. My only hope is that you will be shunned by all humans for the rest of your natural days. Get off of my program now!”

    Contestant Number 3 (psst! Hey! That’s you!), regular person with normal functioning brain, what is your answer?

    “Well, I’m a little nervous because I’ve never studied climate science and… I’ve never tried to get a grant for doing climate science work and I’ve never tried to take people’s money by telling them it’s necessary to save the planet. But, I’m going to guess zero but not for the same reason as Al Gore. I think the answer is zero because the ice is right at the coast.”

    Oh, my… that answer… is CORRECT! You’ve won Climate Jeopardy!!!

    [Audience goes wild with cheers.]

    Yes, friends, as one can PLAINLY SEE in yesterday’s satellite photograph, the ice is right at the coast so the polar bears can step right up to a fine seal meal! Or charr or human, depending on whichever they find first!

    Jimmy, tell them what they’ve won!

    “Yooooou’ve won an all-expense paid trip for Jim Hansen and Al Gore to visit the Northern Canadian and Greenland coasts! For two solid weeks or until consumed by a polar bear, they’ll spend their magical nights in a tent on the rocky shore overlooking the Arctic ice pack! There, they’ll feast on delicious raw charr, lichens and mosquitoes while sunbathing nude in an attempt to soak up the rays from the setting sun! The excitement they’ll enjoy when bear growls are heard nearby is only exceeded by their heart rates as they try to outrun an extinct polar bear! Yes, all this is yours for winning this week’s ‘Climate Jeopardy!”

    That’s it friends! Tune in next week for another exciting episode of “Climate Jeopardy! Good night!”

  5. AndyW says:

    That’s not the whole of the Canadian cost though 🙂

    They are good swimmers though. Probably having sex with brown bears as we speak, if there is no food there is still the fukking ….

    Andy

  6. gator69 says:

    Who can forget the plight of these poor bears, and what a service they provided, saving us from an icy Hell…

    “The Care Bears Battle the Freeze Machine”

    “…sees the return of the ten original Bears and the rarely-seen Cloud Keeper (Svensmark!), as well as the villain Professor Coldheart (Dr Rasool). In addition, the special introduces Baby Hugs, Baby Tugs, Grams Bear, and Professor Coldheart’s sidekick, Frostbite (Dr Hansen).”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrGPdf_VoW4&playnext=1&list=PL0A94373F8810414D

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