“The Catastrophic Influence of Bovine Methane Emissions on Extraterrestrial Climate Patterns
Abstract: This study investigates the hitherto unexplored nexus between terrestrial cow flatulence and Martian atmospheric anomalies. Utilizing advanced quantum flatulence modeling, we demonstrate that bovine emissions, amplified by cosmic rays, contribute to 97% of Mars’ ice cap melting. Our findings underscore the urgent need for interplanetary veganism to avert red planet desertification. Further research into anti-gravity hay is recommended.”
