Real Climate Science

Which one is the parody?

Important disclaimer: you lack the credentials to question science.

There is plant life on Mars but probably no animal life … a leading astronomer has reported

Mars is alive

27 Oct 1954 – PLANT LIFE ON MARS – Trove

Plant life exists on the planet Mars without doubt

10 Jun 1948 – PLANT LIFE ON MARS – Trove

In 1901, Tesla was talking to Martians.

20 Jan 1901, Page 4 – The Anaconda Standard

By 1907, the New York Times had determined that Martians were superior to us.

TimesMachine: November 10, 1907 – NYTimes.com

By 1909, scientists determined why Martians built their canals.

MARS CANALS FOR DRAINAGE. – German Says They Are to Prevent Floods When Pole Caps Melt.

In 1911, the New York Times was impressed by the quality of Martian engineering.

TimesMachine: August 27, 1911 – NYTimes.com

A super-intelligent civilization.

12 Feb 1921, Page 10 – Reading Times

A century ago, there was 100% consensus.

04 Oct 1919, Page 47 – The Winnipeg Tribune

By 1920, the consensus agreed that Martians were a super race.

08 Feb 1920, Page 69 – New-York Tribune

TimesMachine: March 26, 1927 – NYTimes.com

Scientists believed Martians were constantly signaling us.

27 Feb 1928, Page 4 – The Daily Courier

18 Sep 1940, Page 3 – The Hopewell Herald

TimesMachine: June 25, 1950 – NYTimes.com

St. Petersburg Times – Google News Archive Search

06 Jun 1965, Page 82 – Express and News

The Southeast Missourian

05 Aug 1998, Page 4 – Clarion-Ledger

But global warming finally did the Martians in.

Climate experts had previously believed that global warming was caused by a 0.0001 mole fraction increase in CO2 over the past century, but now they know it is caused by Toxic Masculinity.

What If “Toxic Masculinity” Is The Reason For Climate Change?

I had assumed warming was caused by government scientists tampering with data.

I was working in a computer shop in Sedona, Arizona during the Spring of 1989.

A woman walked in and told me her computer was broken because she lived too close to an energy vortex, and it was affecting the crystal in her computer. So I told her she probably would have to move.

The volume of Arctic sea ice is very close to the median over the past 12 years, and continues to grow.

There has been no trend in Arctic sea ice extent or volume over the past twelve years.

Spreadsheet

The Northwest Passage is blocked with the thickest ice in years.

DMI Modelled ice thickness

Last year, Arctic ambulance chasers were focused on the “ice hole in the Barents Sea.”  But there is lots of ice in the Barents Sea, so they have moved their clown show to the Bering Sea.

Science News asks “what happens when the Bering Sea becomes ice-free?”

The Bering Sea loses its ice every spring. Perhaps they can use the last few hundred thousand years for reference? There was no ice (or water) in the Bering Sea when the first humans moved to America 25,000 years ago – during the last ice age.

How did the first americans get here

Alaska was largely ice-free during the last ice age, for the same reason Bering Sea ice is low this year.  During ice ages, the jet stream brings mild air to Alaska, and cold air to Canada and much of the US.

Ice Age Maps, Ice Age Maps, London

The last thing I would ever expect climate researchers to do, is engage in actual scientific research. It just doesn’t seem to happen.