“Get some wood, build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits”

Climate experts warn that a great flood is coming!

Progressives will need an ark. We need to stop dawdling and build it now.

noahs-ark-plans

I want you to build an Ark
Get some wood build it
300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits

When you get that done
Go out into the world and
Collect all of the animals in the world by twos
Male and female  by sixes : male, female, gay, lesbian, bisexual, tranny male->female, tranny female->male, and put them into the ark

We were warned.

ScreenHunter_8491 Apr. 09 22.58

About Tony Heller

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34 Responses to “Get some wood, build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits”

  1. omanuel says:

    Was it not promised that the world will not be destroyed by water a second time?

    More appropriate might be a fire, like the fire of creation that Stalin and his little NAS helpers hid from the public after WWII.

    • rah says:

      That’s ok progressives don’t much like the bible anyway and they certainly don’t believe in the word of God.

      • omanuel says:

        They also do not believe precise experimental measurements and observations, not officially blessed with a Nobel or Crafoord Prize. They are absolutely certain the Sun COULD NOT:

        1. Make chemical elements
        2. Birth the entire Solar System
        3. Sustain the origin and evolution of life on Earth
        4. Maintain control over every atom, life and world in the solar system, and the climate of each planet, in a volume of space that is now greater than that of 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 Earth’s!

        https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10640850/Supplement.pdf

    • Edmonton Al says:

      It has already happened. David Koresh claimed to be the second coming. Because he was burned to death, the crucifix will be replaced with David standing in a fire.

  2. Byron says:

    What We need is a a Golgafrincham style “B” Ark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSid-p0Xlk0

    • Dave1billion says:

      Well, didn’t they end up on Earth 10,00 years or so ago anyway, wrecking the environment?

      I nominate Al Gore for Captain.

    • darrylb says:

      A cubit is one more times than a squaredit

    • gator69 says:

      My dad had all of Cosby’s early comedy albums on a reel to reel tape that we would listen to after dinner from time to time. The tape player was an old solid teak wood cased machine with a stainless steel face, that would probably be worth a small fortune to vintage audiophiles today. The tape was nearly six hours in length, and we would listen to about 20 minutes per night, or until our sides hurt from laughter. The Noah bit was my favorite… Right…

      • darrylb says:

        One of my favorites also——–Noah is working and he hears NOAH, many times then
        finally says…Who is this really?

  3. Truthseeker says:

    Assuming 1 cubit = 40 cm (more now but people were shorter back then), then

    300 x 40cm = 12,000 cm = 120 metres
    80 x 40cm = 3200 cm = 32 metres
    40 x 40cm = 1600 cm = 16 metres

    That is a pretty small boat and it does not look particularly stable, aquatically speaking …

    • John B() says:

      Gilgamesh’s “ark” was 120x120x120 which is almost twice as large as the biblical account. Maybe the “ark” was the original TARDIS, wouldn’t have to feed or clean up much

      • Elaine Supkis says:

        Gilgamesh was taller than Noah and so he go to save the mastadons and dinosaurs. The boat sank due to weight issues.

  4. Steve, recognizing only six genders is a microaggression against the seventh one: tranny female->male. And if they don’t get into the ark because of your patriarchal math, it’s genocide.

  5. Tel says:

    It’s never going to float without solar cells.

    • Dave1billion says:

      And they’d have a pretty big carbon footprint by cutting down those trees, possibly even from a rainforest, so I think they should construct it out of renewable material?

      Since they like corn subsidies so much, I propose that they build it out of cornbread.

  6. Bloke down the pub says:

    Should the title be ‘Get some wood’ or ‘Go-for wood’?

  7. gator69 says:

    Just be sure not to dock in in Massachusetts…

    BOSTON — Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry is docking his family’s new $7 million yacht in neighboring Rhode Island, allowing him to avoid paying roughly $500,000 in taxes to the cash-strapped Bay State.

    http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/07/sen_john_kerry_docks_new_boat.html

  8. kuhnkat says:

    Gen 7:2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

    • Snowleopard says:

      Could have been even bigger. There are several possible sizes of cubit. (There being giants in the Earth in those days) Who can say with certainty which cubit was used? They might have used the pyramid cubit to build it. (~20.6 in or 52.324cm) That would put it in a class with the Titanic

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