Homeland Security Recommends That You Use Scissors To Defend Against Their 200 Million Rounds Of .223 Ammunition

WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?

No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!

That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.

Homeland Security Has Advice for Confronting Mass Murders: Scissors | Cyberwarzone

About Tony Heller

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8 Responses to Homeland Security Recommends That You Use Scissors To Defend Against Their 200 Million Rounds Of .223 Ammunition

  1. Andy OZ says:

    We are a knife and scissor free workplace.
    Our non-bullet proof glass will stop any uninvited crazed gunman. Not.

    • kbray in california says:

      If you have ordered Chinese for lunch, you can put your chopsticks through the pencil sharpener. Sharpened sticks will protect you, otherwise, use your stapler.
      Translation: Homeland Security = Moron.

  2. John Silver says:

    But, but we are not allowed to have scissors with pointed ends.

  3. Thomass says:

    knife to a gunfight…

  4. LOL in Oregon says:

    Is this called
    “bringing a knife to a gun fight?”

    I thought only fools did that….

  5. gator69 says:

    Why didn’t DHS simply buy a bunch of scissors, instead of expensive arms and ammo? They could have saved us alot of money.

    Coming to an airport near you…

    “Terrorist Free Zone”

    They think of everything. 😉

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