WASHINGTON — Is your workplace getting shot up by a crazed gunman?
No problem — just grab a pair of scissors and fight back!
That’s some of the helpful advice in a new instructional video from the Department of Homeland Security that was posted on the agency’s Web site just a month after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
Homeland Security Has Advice for Confronting Mass Murders: Scissors | Cyberwarzone
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We are a knife and scissor free workplace.
Our non-bullet proof glass will stop any uninvited crazed gunman. Not.
If you have ordered Chinese for lunch, you can put your chopsticks through the pencil sharpener. Sharpened sticks will protect you, otherwise, use your stapler.
Translation: Homeland Security = Moron.
Reblogged this on Climate Ponderings.
But, but we are not allowed to have scissors with pointed ends.
Wiffle Bats…
knife to a gunfight…
Is this called
“bringing a knife to a gun fight?”
I thought only fools did that….
Why didn’t DHS simply buy a bunch of scissors, instead of expensive arms and ammo? They could have saved us alot of money.
Coming to an airport near you…
“Terrorist Free Zone”
They think of everything. 😉