CSU Professors Want To Euthanize The Planet

FORT COLLINS, CO—Claiming that it is the humane thing to do, and that the planet is “just going to suffer” if kept alive any longer, members of the world’s scientific community recommended today that Earth be put down.

“We realize this isn’t the easiest thing to hear, but we’ve run a number of tests and unfortunately there’s really nothing more we can do for Earth at this point,” said leading climatologist Dr. Robert Wyche of Colorado State University’s Department of Atmospheric Science. “Earth’s ecosystems have hung in there for a while, and you have to hand it to the old gal for staying alive this long, but at this point the chances of a recovery are, I’m sorry to say, incredibly unlikely. It might be time to say goodbye.”

“Earth is in a lot of pain, folks,” Wyche continued. “Time to think about sending it off peacefully, for its own sake.”

Scientists Recommend Having Earth Put Down | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

About Tony Heller

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9 Responses to CSU Professors Want To Euthanize The Planet

  1. d$ says:

    The Onion is satirical you know that right ?

  2. Smokey says:

    This may be satire, but the truth is that a lot of people actually think like this…

    My response to anyone complaining about overpopulation:

    “You first!”

    Show us the way. Show us how it’s done. Lead by example.

  3. SMS says:

    I’m thinking this is “The Onion” having fun with us. But the story does smack of what we’ve been hearing from the Progressives for such a long time. One disasterous prediction after another with none of it coming true.

  4. SMS, that is the definition of satire. To smack of somebody else. Try to keep up.

  5. R. de Haan says:

    They start with the people of the US who are betrayed and sold out in the same way the Europeans have been betrayed and sold.

    Must Read, The TPP Treaty, a Trojan Horse.

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