License Hands And Feet

According to FBI statistics, far more Americans are killed by hands and feet, than by rifles. (This includes evil, black AR-15’s with pistol grips and high capacity magazines)

ScreenHunter_20 Mar. 09 16.38

 

FBI — Expanded Homicide Data Table 11

Ongoing background checks need to be performed on all American owners of hands and feet, and these critically important checks are keeping the NSA very busy.

About Tony Heller

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24 Responses to License Hands And Feet

  1. nigelf says:

    And once a hand and foot registry is in place it’s only a matter of time before confiscation begins.
    This is a slippery slope folks…

  2. Robertv says:

    In Europe all citizens are already obligated to give their fingerprints to the State. I did not know that this is not the case in the US.

  3. R. Shearer says:

    I think anyone would have to agree that if those deaths were caused by hands, then obviously the murderers were armed. 🙂

  4. Smokey says:

    The exception occurs in places that absolutely forbid citizens the right to possess handguns, like Chicago.

    The more restrictive the anti-gun laws become, the more illegal guns are used. Conversely, the states with the most liberal concealed-carry laws have the least gun violence.

    Therefore, if governments want to drastically reduce gun violence, they should promote conealed-carry laws. QED

    But governments do not really care about gun violence. Rather, they want to disarm the citizenry. Simple as that. With disarmed citizens, governments can do whatever they like. Who’s gonna stop them?

    And that, folks, is the real reason behind anti-gun laws.

    • Jason Calley says:

      Yes. People sometime claim that the murder rate in disarmed Europe is lower than in the armed USA. That is certainly not true over the long term, not if you include unarmed victims of organized government murder. It seems clear to me that government murder victims are just as human as victims of private murder and deserve to be counted.

    • Gail Combs says:

      Tyrants ALWAYS disarm the citizens first if they can.

      Note that this truth like so many others is never taught in our schools.

      The Great Thanksgiving Hoax is a classic example of the propaganda taught instead of truth in our class rooms.

      Each year at this time school children all over America are taught the official Thanksgiving story…. It is all very colorful and fascinating.

      It is also very deceiving. This official story is nothing like what really happened. It is a fairy tale, a whitewashed and sanitized collection of half-truths which divert attention away from Thanksgiving’s real meaning.

      The official story has the pilgrims boarding the Mayflower, coming to America and establishing the Plymouth colony in the winter of 1620-21. This first winter is hard, and half the colonists die. But the survivors are hard working and tenacious, and they learn new farming techniques from the Indians. The harvest of 1621 is bountiful. The Pilgrims hold a celebration, and give thanks to God. They are grateful for the wonderful new abundant land He has given them.

      The official story then has the Pilgrims living more or less happily ever after, each year repeating the first Thanksgiving. Other early colonies also have hard times at first, but they soon prosper and adopt the annual tradition of giving thanks for this prosperous new land called America.

      The problem with this official story is that the harvest of 1621 was not bountiful, nor were the colonists hardworking or tenacious. 1621 was a famine year and many of the colonists were lazy thieves.

      In his ‘History of Plymouth Plantation,’ the governor of the colony, William Bradford, reported that the colonists went hungry for years, because they refused to work in the fields. They preferred instead to steal food. He says the colony was riddled with “corruption,” and with “confusion and discontent.” The crops were small because “much was stolen both by night and day, before it became scarce eatable.”…

      If you have not read that article, do so and save it to hand out next October and November before elections. {:>)

      • Send Al to the Pole says:

        Gail, didn’t this story go on to say that when the colonists switched from a communitarianist ideal to one of individualism, the colonists found reason to work at their crops, and THAT was why they finally prospered?

        Somewhere I remember this story….

        • Jason Calley says:

          That is the rest of the story. Governor Bradford and the colonists decided that instead of having all communal property with all of the harvest shared, they would allocate plots of land to each family, and each family would farm and keep their own harvest. The first year that was done, the Pilgrims had their first big harvest.

          “Those who do not work will not eat.” Sounds right to me…bearing in mind that compassionate charity for those who can not work is equally encouraged.

  5. Larry Fields says:

    Hey, aren’t we forgetting something? We also need to outlaw high-capacity hands and feet. Sorry kids, no more karate classes.

  6. wwlee4411 says:

    Reblogged this on wwlee4411 and commented:
    Figures don’t lie, but liars do figure!

  7. Bob Knows says:

    More Americans are killed by the FBI and other police than by “criminals.” We would all be a lot more safe if the FBI was outlawed.

    • Jason Calley says:

      Hey Bob, there are certainly a lot more Americans killed by various police forces than there are by terrorists, but more than by criminals in general? I have been wrong about things before, but I have a difficult time believing that one. Certainly, if you count people jailed for victimless crimes, then you have a huge number of victims of the police — but as far as actual killings go…that sounds like maybe it needs to be double checked.

  8. Chip Bennett says:

    Such must be referred to as assault hands and assault feet – just like the assault hammers, which have also been used for more murders than rifles (evil, black rifles or otherwise).

  9. B.C. says:

    They can have my hands when they pry them from my cold, dead…

  10. calypsostewie says:

    Compare the number of people killed by weapons of all kinds to the number of people killed by impaired drivers. It’s about 10k annually. And now the fools want to enable MORE impaired drivers by legalizing marijuana. If their motive were saving lives there would be a good place to start. Since they don’t want to start there they must have a different motive.

    http://www.cdc.gov/motorvehiclesafety/impaired_driving/impaired-drv_factsheet.html

    • gator69 says:

      So far, the limited statistics available show no increase in impaired drivers. It seems that some are exchanging alcohol for pot when they drive under the influence, in other words, many drunk drivers are now stoned drivers instead.

    • Bob Knows says:

      RE: Impaired drivers. Statistics in the US show that about 2/3 of fatal vehicle crashes are caused by sober drivers. if they cared about reducing people killed in vehicle crashes they would be focusing on SOBER drivers who cause the most deaths.

      • calypsostewie says:

        I’ll assume that you know that the percentage of drunk drivers is low but that the percentage of drunk drivers involved in traffic accidents of all kinds is high and that you are just being sarcastic.

  11. Dave N says:

    http://d.thumbs.redditmedia.com/_m2ZhkH80U3UeUWi.jpg

    The forks are probably more dangerous. Next up: under 18’s disallowed from going near trees, lest they break off a pointy stick.

    Following on from Steve’s story: hands and feet must be locked in padded coverings at all times whilst in public. Also, mouths are to be covered in case they attempt to use harsh language against each other.

    Sadly, I would not be surprised if it leads to this..

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