My Name Is Barack Obama, And I Approved This Message

Vote for me!

  • I launched my political career at a nail bomber’s house
  • For seventeen years I was promoted as being born in Kenya
  • I couldn’t find my birth certificate until I was over 50
  • I ran thousands of assault rifles to Mexican drug lords, who used them to kill Americans
  • My goal is to destroy the Bill of Rights
  • I use the IRS to harass and intimidate my political opponents
  • I use illegal wiretaps  to control the press corps
  • I take credit for Navy Seals’ work, and then let them die
  • I let US ambassadors be killed by terrorists, and then lie and blame it on other people
  • I always blame white people first
  • My goal is to divide America along every possible boundary I can think of
  • I have run up almost as much debt as  all other presidents combined
  • I can’t stand people who cling to guns and religion
  • I blame bad weather on my political opponents
  • I know nothing about science, but am happy to attack anyone who disagrees with me about science
  • I make Chris Matthews get a tingle up his leg
  • I used to be against gay marriage, until right after the election
  • I had no stand on gun confiscation, until right after the election
  • etc.

About Tony Heller

Just having fun
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7 Responses to My Name Is Barack Obama, And I Approved This Message

  1. PhilJourdan says:

    I train my staff to not read or see legal documents they sign.

  2. Chewer says:

    It’s also implied that the perpetual bull-shitter in chief truly believes: “When I piss on your leg and tell you its raining you better believe me”!
    My question is, Who should I sue for shoving AGW down my throat and ruining my garden:
    http://forecast.weather.gov/showsigwx.php?warnzone=AKZ141&warncounty=AKC261&firewxzone=AKZ141&local_place1=12+Miles+NNE+Kenny+Lake+AK&product1=Winter+Weather+Advisory
    http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com/

  3. David says:

    Let me shorten that for you Steve.

    I am a lying sleazy bag of puss who could not pass the background check to be a teller for a bank.

  4. NoMoreGore says:

    You forgot:
    Reggie Luv tastes like chocolate. 🙂

  5. Robertv says:

    And don’t forget

    Behind every great man there’s a great woman.

  6. Ben says:

    I told Medvedev to tell Putin that after the election, I no longer had to provide for the common defense of the United States, my sworn duty

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