My World Cup Forecast

I predict that neither the US nor England will win, and that something which happens will be blamed on climate change.

About Tony Heller

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93 Responses to My World Cup Forecast

  1. Andy Oz says:

    I predict Australia won’t make the round of 16. I know. Not much of a prediction. Brazil, Netherlands and Chile will be using us for target practice. And many will complain of the unprecedented heat and humidity caused by climate change……………..in the tropics.

    • Truthseeker says:

      Actually I think that it will be Spain and not Brazil that will be using Australia as target practice. I would be happy for Brazil to use Australia as target practice because that will mean we would have got out of the group stages …

  2. Bob Campbell says:

    I agree with all 3 – the last is a certainty.
    Also agree with Andy Oz but that might be bias on my part being Oz myself.

  3. Lance says:

    and Toronto won’t win the Stanley Cup….we have to wait for the next ice age when hell freezes over.

  4. Colorado Wellington says:

    It has also been reported that FIFA is planning to offset the emissions of officials and fans by perhaps buying carbon offsets.

    http://www.un.org/climatechange/blog/2014/04/16/brazil-kicks-off-carbon-neutral-goal-for-fifa-world-cup

    Perhaps.

    • Truthseeker says:

      Dare I ask what sort of emissions they are expecting from “officials and fans”? A the emissions from players different some how?

      Maybe if they just leave the beans out of the feijoada …

      • Colorado Wellington says:

        Also, how different are the emissions from the human flesh devouring cannibals among the players …

  5. John, UK says:

    England will likely be worse than we thought and defeat will be blamed on the wrong kind of grass.

  6. philjourdan says:

    So who do you think WILL win? You follow this closer than most of us, and some of us are inquiring minds.

  7. Cheshirered says:

    Shots will fly with increased kinetic velocity swerving like beach balls as they move more freely through a dangerously thinner atmosphere susceptible to suffering reduced levels of moisture and atmospheric drag, caused by dangerous, accelerating and irreversible pseudo-scientific pretend evaporation due to man made global warming. Or something like that.

    Surprise package: Portugal. 3rd ranked team, used to the weather, Ronaldo!

  8. Gamecock says:

    What is a World Cup?

    • Gail Combs says:

      +1
      I am glad I am not the only one who doesn’t follow sports.

      • philjourdan says:

        You’re a girl!

        (that is going to cause me all sorts of problems, but I could not resist). 😉

        • Richard Mallett says:

          The USA women’s football team is better than the men’s.

        • philjourdan says:

          The USA does not have female football teams. They do have female SOCCER teams. And every time they play the men, they lose. So your statement is false on both counts.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          The Federation International de Football Association is the governing body for world football. Please give the results of USA women vs. USA men in international football tournaments. The American women won the FIFA World Cup in 1991, 3rd. in 1995, won in 1999, 3rd. in 2003 and 2007, and 2nd. in 2011.

        • philjourdan says:

          You are talking soccer. When in Rome….

          Football in America is not a female sport. Try again, and this time educate yourself before crossing the pond.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          We are talking about the FIFA World Cup. Here is the lead message :-

          “I predict that neither the US nor England will win, and that something which happens will be blamed on climate change.”
          Crossing the pond to Brazil. Ask the Brazilians what they call it.
          We are not talking about that game where the players carry the ball with their hands.

        • philjourdan says:

          The THREAD was. However the subject changed. If you cannot keep up, keep quiet.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          No, the subject hasn’t changed. People are still talking about Brazil. Even you spoke (wrongly) about the US women’s team. I’m sorry that you still have a reading difficulty.

        • philjourdan says:

          I am sure someone is still talking about the 2k election, but not in the thread we are in. The subject was changed. If you can’t keep up, shut up.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          We were talking about the World Cup foo9tball in Brazil, and we are still talking about the World Cup football in Brazil. You have even offered to tell me what England did. Please tell me how many messages in the thread are about American football.

        • philjourdan says:

          Richard Mallett says:
          May 29, 2014 at 12:08 pm

          The USA women’s football team is better than the men’s.

          When in rome. Football in the USA is about 22 men on a gridiron in pads – NOT 22 men on a “field” with shin guards.

          It is Soccer here. We do not make you go up in an Elevator. Don’t tell us that we have to use a lift.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          So football in one country in the world is a game where you use your hands, and in all the other countries it isn’t. Got it.

        • philjourdan says:

          I doubt you “got it”, but that is essentially true. Should you ever come to this country, and you want to see Soccer, you better not ask for football. You will be disappointed.

          BTW: Goalies use their hands, so hands are used in all countries that play their brand of football.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          Hands are used by 9% of the players, as opposed to 100%.

        • philjourdan says:

          Non Sequitur (and place kickers do not use hands). The issue was using hands in football. I showed you where both versions do.

        • Gail Combs says:

          I can’t stand watching even a horse show. (Mule and donkey is another story, they are hilarious.) A spectator I am not, I rather participate. It is one of the reasons I have not watched the boob tube since 1974.

        • philjourdan says:

          I love baseball – to play! But I can not watch it either (except the playoffs).

          And yes, I do believe you played football – you are not one to stand on the sidelines.

        • Gail Combs says:

          The women’s teams are better because we were restricted to football (soccer) and softball as the only team sports we could play so that is where all the talent went and where the most development in sports happened. In the US basketball and US style football (not soccer) suck-up all the talented players with baseball getting the rest.

        • philjourdan says:

          My sister had to play on the Boys JV Soccer team because they had no girls team.

          But to your point, you are probably right. American Soccer does not get the talent because it does not pay as well as football or Basketball.

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          I can’t stand watching even a horse show. (Mule and donkey is another story, they are hilarious.)

          You are a better person. I can’t stand the mule & donkey shows, regardless how hilarious they get. But living here means I get the shows and the rehearsals. Hillary speaks in Broomfield on Monday.

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          Please tell me how many messages in the thread are about American football.

          I did not tally it but metric football may come in first. Rugby, footy and Gail’s aggressiveness will also register.

          Funny thing, you can only argue about it by responding to Phil calling Gail a girl.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          That is indeed the mentioned thread, where Phil suggested that we should not call it football; and that the women are worse than the men, because they lose when they play against the men. I still don’t know when they do that.

        • philjourdan says:

          RIF Dick. – AMERICAN (or USA) Football. I do not care what you call it in England.

          Get a first grade primer.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          You mean that you don’t care what the international governing body calls it, or what the rest of the world calls it.

        • philjourdan says:

          When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in America, you go by THEIR terms. Again, you do not get a rise out of a lift in America. You get it from an ELEVATOR. Since you said “USA women’s football”, I corrected you. In America, there are no WOMEN’S FOOTBALL teams. There is an excellent Soccer team however.

          Since you have not even learned English yet, it brings into question your claims of any other language as well.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          I’m not in America, or have you forgotten already ? The USA women’s football team plays all over the world.

        • philjourdan says:

          You are TALKING about an AMERICAN team. Use the correct term, or remain ignorant. I did not say you were “in America” (you actually are since this server is in America as is the host of this blog).

          Go post on an Italian web site in English and then call the other posters stupid for not doing the same.

          You must not use your brain very much,

        • Richard Mallett says:

          So you didn’t say I was in America, but now you are saying that I am ? I’m sorry that you are so mentally confused. Do you mean that because (by your definition) people who post to Real Science are ‘in America’ that they should use American terminology ? That doesn’t sound really scientific to me.

        • philjourdan says:

          No Dick, I already quoted what you said. You said “USA Women’s Football”. As I correctly pointed out, there are NO USA Women’s football teams. There are some damn good USA Women’s Soccer teams. I am sure you have a Woman’s football team. But the USA does not.

          Your inability to understand your native tongue would be an embarrassment to most. But I do not think you have the capacity to grasp your handicap.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          They also compete under the Federation Internationale de Football Association.

        • philjourdan says:

          Which again is NOT an American institution. You said “USA”. In the “USA”, the “football” teams (pros anyway) are governed by the National FOOTBALL League (NFL for short). Last I checked, they did not tell you how to kick a ball, or rule on the Hand of God. At least they are smart enough not to try to remake the world in their own warped image.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          The USA team are subject to the rules of association football, same as everybody else.

        • philjourdan says:

          Non sequitur. You keep introducing straw men as you lost the debate. No one talked about rules until you just did. It is not the subject of the debate.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          There is no debate. This is further evidence that the sport is recognised by 209 national associations around the world as association football.

        • philjourdan says:

          Non sequitur again. We are not talking about 209 countries, just one. And you are right, there is no debate. You have no clue how to debate.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          Yes, you are right. We are talking about the Federation International de Football Association World Cup taking place in Brazil.

        • philjourdan says:

          No, you are still wrong. We are talking about A USA Football team. And the fact they are all male in the USA where we are talking about them.

          Stop with the lies and misdirections.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          I’m not talking in the USA, so you are wrong to say ‘we’re talking in the USA’. Where this website is hosted is totally irrelevant. Many British company websites use American hosting companies because they are cheaper or free of charge, for example. I’m talking in the UK about :-

          (a) the FIFA World Cup in Brazil (remember you said you would like to see Mexico win ?), and
          (b) the USA Women’s football team (which also plays under the jurisdiction of FIFA) and their performances in the Women’s FIFA World Cup.

          Both the USA men’s and women’s football teams operate under the jurisdiction of the Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football, which reports directly to FIFA.

          If you want to talk about something else called football by some other people, then don’t talk about the USA women’s team competing against the men, and losing every time (for which you haven’t yet given any examples, by the way).

        • philjourdan says:

          Stop lying Dick:

          Richard Mallett says:
          May 29, 2014 at 12:08 pm

          The USA women’s football team is better than the men’s.

          We are indeed talking about AMERICAN FOOTBALL. As everyone can see from the date, it is now 2 weeks old. But that does not change the SOURCE of your ignorance.

          So stop lying. Do you have the memory of a goldfish? Or just hoping everyone else does?

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          … you don’t care what the international governing body calls it …

          Spot on. I don’t care what any international governing bodies call things and it serves me well.

          … or what the rest of the world calls it.

          Bingo! I frequently entertain my neighbors by acting and speaking the way it’s done somewhere else in the rest of the world but one can only take weird so far.

          “Soccer” will do much of the time and even funny-speaking foreigners know this old English word. In the rare instances of confusion I switch to “metric football” or “fútbol” with a Spanish diction. Everyone I know will smile and raise a pint to that.

        • philjourdan says:

          I switch to “metric football” or “fútbol” with a Spanish diction

          I prefer the German – Fussball. (pronounced like the table top game – foos)

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          Hands are used by 9% of the players, as opposed to 100%.

          The raw data shows much higher numbers. Never heard of “Hand of God”?

        • Richard Mallett says:

          Yes indeed. His goal before that one was a cracker though !

        • philjourdan says:

          Even us ignorant Americans have heard of that one. Must be why Dick hates hands. 😉

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          When I was 15 a girl told me she hated my hands.

        • philjourdan says:

          They just told me they hated me. 😉

  9. Richard Mallett says:

    England and the USA will have trouble getting out of the Group stages. For the benefit of Gamecock, a World Cup is something that the USA had the honour of hosting in 1994, and nobody over there noticed.

  10. MrX says:

    I predict someone will dive and the ref will call it on the opposite team EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
    The World Cup is simply the Oscars for diving. It’s where the best actors come out to show their embellishment skills and outright faking. They put porn stars to shame… and not in a good way.

    • Back when I was a kid, we played by some very simple rules: Are you awake? Can you still crawl off the field? You were not fouled. Play on.

      • Gail Combs says:

        Are you SURE you weren’t playing Rugby? My husband has a classmate who still plays rugby at age 71. By mistake they managed to match his team of old codgers with a young team. The young guys were so taken aback the old codgers manage to trounce them in the early part of the game.

        Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.”

        At least until the young wake-up.

        Rugby was the only sport I would voluntarily watch in college.

        • Andy Oz says:

          “Rugby was the only sport I would voluntarily watch in college.”

          All of New Zealand and half of Australia understands. When I was at Uni NSW, one thing I noticed about girls and sport was that all the hot ones went to the rugby, almost none went to the league, soccer or AFL. Rugby was amateur and the rest were professional, but it was doctors, lawyers and engineers playing rugby and plumbers, sparkies and brickies playing league. Might be a reason.

        • Richard Mallett says:

          Girls know to follow the money 🙂

        • Gail Combs says:

          DARN STRAIGHT!

          Now why did I marry not one but 2 Physicists…. (A divorce between for the wiseAsssscres.)

        • Richard Mallett says:

          Fusion, Fission, Fusion.

        • philjourdan says:

          . (A divorce between for the wiseAsssscres.)

          Ah! You spoil all the fun! 😆

        • Gail Combs says:

          ROTFLMAO {:>D

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          Darn funny!

        • Andy Oz says:

          “Fusion Fission Fusion”. – That is GOLD! LMAO.
          Gotta be a T shirt in that somewhere. Maybe something like:
          “Physicists don’t get divorced, they just go critical!”

        • Gail Combs says:

          Andy Oz says:

          “Fusion Fission Fusion”….
          “Physicists don’t get divorced, they just go critical!”

          ROTFLMAO. It is almost worth having that made up and sending to my EX.

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          Darn! Funnier!

        • Gail Combs says:

          My (current) husband wants to make it up and send it to my EX now that I read that to him…

        • Colorado Wellington says:

          Be careful about critical mass of husbands …

  11. Eliza says:

    Actually it might be freezing in Brazil especially i Southern Brazil by July. At the rate Antarctica is expanding the colder air is starting reaching us.

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