Daily Theology Column

Arctic ice sacrificed for our sins.

Because we choose to not live in the cold and the dark, the CO2 god is punishing us by making more ice melt this summer than during the great holy year of 2007.

Some apostates have offended the CO2 god even further by looking at the record high sea ice in southern hemisphere, aka Hades. This hemisphere is not to be viewed by anyone other than holy oracles, who are the only ones qualified to find a way to blame the record maximum on our ozone sins.

About Tony Heller

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12 Responses to Daily Theology Column

  1. omnologos says:

    Slartbartifast seemed such a nice chap! What have we done to him!!

  2. Andy DC says:

    The CO2 god punished the skeptics by creating a frigid, out of season blizzard in early August that broke up the ice, allowing the alarmists to dance with glee over a meaningless record.

  3. NikFromNYC says:

    Oily warmista blogs focus not on ice but your own imponderably cold heart, skeptic. McIntyre is a meanie! They overlap with the dork squad on highly censored hipster blog BoingBoing.net and especially Reddit.com, a community of witty Mensa atheists that has recently started to gather in mass in person via Meetup.com and in person they exchange insider jokes about weird crap they posted online about melted ice cream cones. In Scientology some sort of alien particles control our lives whereas in Climatology, oil money particles have infested a group of evil zombies named Watts and Goddard and Nova.

    Back in the day it was cathartic for me to collect their nonsense in single poster format:

    http://oi54.tinypic.com/es5gev.jpg

    BoingBoing is most influenced by founder Cory Doctorow, a sci-fi author (and thus millionaire) who is selling a textbook Marxist fantasy about how corporations are obsolete due to a few Lego level toys called 3D printers that spit out bright plastic trinkets. If you want your trinket to have truly smooth surfaces you must slow it down by a factor of 10 since you must make 10X as small of scanning passes, and due to simple laws of geometry, this is required in all three dimensions so the math is 10X10X10 = 1000 times as slow, meaning instead of two hours to make a prototype, it takes 83 days. It’s all “open source” design, meaning any new idea is immediately copyable by Chinese factories. Every city with a tech crowd now have huge coop “hacker spaces” where these losers vie for online attention by making, drum roll…little battery operated LED bulbs with magnets on them that they can toss in the air that then stick to subway stop girders. Doctorow is telling these recent grads that they shall inherit the Earth and create a “singularity” in which money no longer exists since everything is free via Star Trek replicators that operate by solar energy.

    The Museum of Modern Art has a gal who takes seriously these scruffy weirdos and cock teasing “cosplay” (they wear sci-fi movie costumes as an excuse to show cleavage in more than one place) chicks, a crowd that overlaps too with the embarrassingly tacky “Reality Is Obsolete” MIT Media Lab. In Brooklyn there’s GenSpace, a genetics “hackerspace” with trust fund “artists” on the faculty who have created a MoMA installation of entire buildings made of fungus. Lots of spores in the air that way, I nervously note.

    -=NikFromNYC=- Ph.D. (Columbia/Harvard)

  4. suyts says:

    “Because we choose to not live in the cold and the dark……”

    No doubt. Have you guys seen this? http://suyts.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/eco-nutters-looking-nuttier-by-the-daynight/ Turns out, these nuts are coming out against LEDs!

  5. Sundance says:

    It may take awhile but the truth about scientific malpractice by those who embrace deliberate ignorance in order to promote a cause rather than to approach science in an objective manner, eventually emerges. A hall of shame for such people would have to include Rachel Carlson as her ignorance is responsible for so many unnecessary human deaths and yet she is still worshiped by environmental fanatics as a demi-god.

    ‘Silent Spring at 50: The False Crises of Rachel Carson’
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/1937184994/?tag=powlin-20

    • Shooter says:

      Rachel Carson is a real murderer. She has killed far more than any dictator in history. And yet, she is seen as a hero…We must remember, that those who pretend to be heroes are far from it.

  6. Thou shalt worship Arctic ice and ride in Greenpeace boats to look at it. Yea, even burn incense unto thine polar bears. If not, thou art shunned.

  7. Andy OZ says:

    Ozone! I forgot all about that one!
    The hole is letting cold in from outer space and excessively freezing the southern polar region.

    Must get that peer reviewed.

  8. Ben says:

    Only “serious scientists speculate”. The more serious the scientist, the more they speculate.

    http://goo.gl/eOls0

  9. scizzorbill says:

    Amen

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