Worse Than The Ku Klux Klan

White progressives are the most prejudiced people on the planet. In order to fill the void in their lives, they imagine that other people need their help. This makes them feel superior. This requires that they keep other people permanently down.

Columbia, Maryland is the ultimate proof that progressive philosophy is a disaster. The town was set up to be a melting pot, with equal expectations on all people. Great schools, great opportunities, civil society.

It has worked very well, until recently – when the White House launched their “race baiting all the time – black lives matter campaign” They made heroes of thugs Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown. Bad is good, good is bad. White people are the enemy. Police are the enemy.

As an inevitable consequence of Obama’s behavior, over the past 18 months this place has started to be overrun by gang-style activity. I was possibly shot at on my bicycle Friday night. Last night I was hassled by some teenagers riding my bike home in the rain. As soon as I saw them fifty yards away, I knew they were going to cause trouble. They were clearly profiling me as a white person, which is a violation of my civil rights.

My gorgeous hair cutter commented last night that “Columbia is changing (and not for the better)”

ScreenHunter_1541 Apr. 20 12.54

In order to have a civil society, we have to demand that all races and religions behave civilly. Particularly white progressives – who are the root of most evil in our society.

About Tony Heller

Just having fun
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72 Responses to Worse Than The Ku Klux Klan

  1. Gail Combs says:

    Obama has done more to set back race relations than anyone I can think of except the Banksters/royals when they pushed black slave ownership on the colonies as part of the mercantilist trade triangle between Europe, Africa and the Americas.

    • gator69 says:

      According to colonial records, the first slave owner in the United States was a black man.

      Prior to 1655 there were no legal slaves in the colonies, only indentured servants. All masters were required to free their servants after their time was up. Seven years was the limit that an indentured servant could be held. Upon their release they were granted 50 acres of land. This included any Negro purchased from slave traders. Negros were also granted 50 acres upon their release.

      Anthony Johnson was a Negro from modern-day Angola. He was brought to the US to work on a tobacco farm in 1619. In 1622 he was almost killed when Powhatan Indians attacked the farm. 52 out of 57 people on the farm perished in the attack. He married a female black servant while working on the farm.

      When Anthony was released he was legally recognized as a “free Negro” and ran a successful farm. In 1651 he held 250 acres and five black indentured servants. In 1654, it was time for Anthony to release John Casor, a black indentured servant. Instead Anthony told Casor he was extending his time. Casor left and became employed by the free white man Robert Parker.

      Anthony Johnson sued Robert Parker in the Northampton Court in 1654. In 1655, the court ruled that Anthony Johnson could hold John Casor indefinitely. The court gave judicial sanction for blacks to own slave of their own race. Thus Casor became the first permanent slave and Johnson the first slave owner.

      Whites still could not legally hold a black servant as an indefinite slave until 1670. In that year, the colonial assembly passed legislation permitting free whites, blacks, and Indians the right to own blacks as slaves.

      By 1699, the number of free blacks prompted fears of a “Negro insurrection.” Virginia Colonial ordered the repatriation of freed blacks back to Africa.

      Many blacks sold themselves to white masters so they would not have to go to Africa. This was the first effort to gently repatriate free blacks back to Africa. The modern nations of Sierra Leone and Liberia both originated as colonies of repatriated former black slaves.
      However, black slave owners continued to thrive in the United States.

      By 1830 there were 3,775 black families living in the South who owned black slaves. By 1860 there were about 3,000 slaves owned by black households in the city of New Orleans alone.

      http://conservative-headlines.com/2012/03/americas-first-slave-owner-was-a-black-man/

      Slavery was brought to us by Arabic and African culture. Arabs still have slaves to this day. Our founders tried to end it.

      “Let me tell you something. Do you know that you have been deceived and cheated? You have been told that this government was intended from the beginning for white men, and for white men exclusively; that the men who formed the Union and framed the Constitution designed the permanent exclusion of the colored people from the benefits of those institutions. Davis, Taney and Yancey, traitors at the south, have propagated this statement, while their copperhead echoes at the north have repeated the same. There never was a bolder or more wicked perversion of the truth of history. So far from this purpose was the mind and heart of your fathers, that they desired and expected the abolition of slavery. They framed the Constitution plainly with a view to the speedy downfall of slavery. They carefully excluded from the Constitution any and every word which could lead to the belief that they meant it for persons of only one complexion.

      The Constitution, in its language and in its spirit, welcomes the black man to all the rights which it was intended to guarantee to any class of the American people. Its preamble tells us for whom and for what it was made.”
      -Frederick Douglass (June 1863)

      Long illegal, the infamous slave trade was declared by Congress in 1819 to be piracy, and as such, punishable by death. The Navy’s African Slave Trade Patrol was established to search for and bring to justice the dealers in human misery. Never exceeding a few ships in number, the Patrol, which from time to time included the USS Constitution,USS Constellation, USS Saratoga and USS Yorktown, relentlessly plied the waters off West Africa, South America, and the Cuban coast, a principle area for slave disembarkation. By the start of the Civil War more than 100 suspected slavers had been captured.

      http://www.history.navy.mil/browse-by-topic/heritage/banners/battle-streamers/african-slave-trade-patrol.html

      It was a tradition started in the East, supported by the Crown, and rejected by our founders.

      • Gail Combs says:

        Agreed Gator

        I can not find the link to the article I read about the start of importing blacks into the colonies. I do remember it was in New England (Rhode Island?) and Peabody was the importer. He was financed in the business by the Rothschilds.

        AHHHhh found it!

        Eustace Mullins On Rothschild Warmongering

        From The Book ‘Secrets Of The Federal Reserve’ By Eustace Mullins

        CHAPTER FIVE
        The House of Rothschild

        …The ten largest bank holding companies in the United States are firmly in the hands of certain banking houses, all of which have branches in London. They are J.P. Morgan Company, Brown Brothers Harriman, Warburg, Kuhn Loeb and J. Henry Schroder. All of them maintain close relationships with the House of Rothschild, principally through the Rothschild control of international money markets through its manipulation of the price of gold. Each day, the world price of gold is set in the London office of N.M. Rothschild and Company.

        Although these firms are ostensibly American firms, which merely maintain branches in London, the fact is that these banking houses actually take their direction from London. Their history is a fascinating one, and unknown to the American public, originating as it did in the international traffic in gold, slaves, diamonds, and other contraband. There are no moral considerations in any business decision made by these firms. They are interested solely in money and power.

        Tourists today gape at the magnificent mansions of the very rich in Newport, Rhode Island, without realizing that not only do these “cottages” stand as a memorial to the baronial desires of our Victorian millionaires, but that their erection in Newport represented a nostalgic memorialization of the great American fortunes, which had their beginnings in Newport when it was the capital of the slave trade.

        The slave trade for centuries had its headquarters in Venice, until Seventeenth Century Britain, the new master of the seas, used its control of the oceans to gain a monopoly. As the American colonies were settled, its fiercely independent people, most of whom did not want slaves, found to their surprise that slaves were being sent to our ports in great numbers.

        For many years, Newport was the capital of this unsavory trade. William Ellery, the Collector of the Port of Newport, said in 1791:
        “…an Ethiopian could as soon change his skin as a Newport merchant could be induced to change so lucrative a trade…. for the slow profits of any manufactory.”

        John Quincy Adams remarked in his Diary, page 459, “Newport’s former prosperity was chiefly owing to its extensive employment in the African slave trade.”

        The pre-eminence of J.P. Morgan and the Brown firm in American finance can be dated to the development of Baltimore as the nineteenth century capital of the slave trade. Both of these firms originated in Baltimore, opened branches in London, came under the aegis of the House of Rothschild, and returned to the United States to open branches in New York and to become the dominant power, not only in finance, but also in government. In recent years, key posts such as Secretary of Defense have been held by Robert Lovett, partner of Brown Brothers Harriman, and Thomas S. Gates, partner of Drexel and Company, a J.P. Morgan subsidiary firm. The present Vice President, George Bush, is the son of Prescott Bush, a partner of Brown Brothers Harriman, for many years the senator from Connecticut, and the financial organizer of Columbia Broadcasting System of which he also was a director for many years.

        To understand why these firms operate as they do, it is necessary to give a brief history of their origins. Few Americans know that J.P. Morgan Company began as George Peabody and Company. George Peabody (1795-1869), born at South Danvers, Massachusetts, began business in Georgetown, D.C. in 1814 as Peabody, Riggs and Company, dealing in wholesale dry goods, and in operating the Georgetown Slave Market. In 1815, to be closer to their source of supply, they moved to Baltimore, where they operated as Peabody and Riggs, from 1815 to 1835. Peabody found himself increasingly involved with business originating from London, and in 1835, he established the firm of George Peabody and Company in London. He had excellent entree in London business through another Baltimore firm established in Liverpool, the Brown Brothers. Alexander Brown came to Baltimore in 1801, and established what is now known as the oldest banking house in the United States, still operating as Brown Brothers Harriman of New York; Brown, Shipley and Company of England; and Alex Brown and Son of Baltimore. The behind the scenes power wielded by this firm is indicated by the fact that Sir Montagu Norman, Governor of the Bank of England for many years, was a partner of Brown, Shipley and Company.* ….
        http://www.rense.com/general70/roth.htm

        • gator69 says:

          I have an ancestors who were slaves in Florida, taken from the Island of Menorca, and told they would be released upon completion of their service, and they were not. They were beaten and treated horribly by a Scotchman named Dr. Andrew Turnbull, who tricked them and then turned them into regular slaves.

          http://menorcansociety.net/

        • Jason Calley says:

          Hey Gail, you being the queen of all online researchers (and I am not really joking — you dig up the most amazing bits of info) I have a question which I have looked in to and never found a good answer. If you think it is worth any of your time, I would be grateful for any ideas. With the end of the Civil War, the southern slaves were freed — but what about the Union slaves? There were slaves in the Union all through the war, and I assume that they were not freed until the 13th Amendment was passed. I have had a most difficult time finding just exactly when each state outlawed slavery. Certainly Maryland had slaves, Kentucky had slaves, parts of Missouri had slaves, parts of Tennessee that did not leave the Union had slaves. I think Delaware had slaves… But now it gets messy! Various states in the north had previously outlawed slavery, but only under certain conditions, for example, no new slaves, but all slaves over a certain age were still slaves until death. Or maybe slaves under 20 years old could be kept another 15 years but must then be freed. Any way, because of the conditions imposed in some states when slavery was mostly outlawed, many of the so-called “free states” still had slavery — just not as much of it as they did before. It puzzles me; the question of when slavery ended is more complicated than I thought. I even contacted one of the still existing anti-slavery groups asking if they had the information, but they did not even respond. If any one reading this has a link to exactly when slavery was once-and-for-all, no exceptions, no slaves left out, and totally abolished in each state, I would appreciate it.

        • Gail Combs says:

          Unfortunately slavery has been a normal condition of humanity throughout the ages. Aristotle realized that “when looms weave by themselves human’s slavery will end”

          This is why a friend said it was James Watt who freed the slaves and Dr Petr Beckmann identified Acess to Energy as a condition of freedom and a decent life style.

          It is also why the Left/Progressives are determined to limit our access to energy.

          “Giving society cheap, abundant energy would be the equivalent of giving an idiot child a machine gun.” —Dr. Paul Ehrlich, Anne Ehrlich, and Dr. John Holdren, Ecoscience: Population, Resources, Environment, 1970, p. 323

          We are not free people but idiot children that must have our every move guided by our betters.

        • omanuel says:

          Thanks, Gail. “Access to energy is a condition for freedom” may explain Stalin’s 1945 decision to unite nations (UN) and national academies of science (NAS) to hide the source of energy that powers the universe.

        • Jason Calley says:

          Buckminster Fuller often made the same point, that cheap energy is a technological replacement for owning slaves. A human in good shape can be relied on for roughly a half horsepower. That three horsepower electric motor that runs the fan in your home air conditioner? That is six slaves — but with MUCH lower upkeep. That 200 HP engine in your car? 400 slaves… and people still complain about the cost of gas!

  2. In order to have a civil society …

    ”If people keep choosing means that seem unsuited to their ends, consider that you might not understand their ends.”

    Glenn Reynolds

    http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/205247

  3. Mark Luhman says:

    The left/progressive are responsible for more deaths than any single group on earth, don’t expect them to change their ways. After Hitler and Mussolini were the most successful progressive of the 20th century and of after it all fell apart history was rewritten to remove those two from the progressive movement of europe. Ditto for the left and Communism to the left and the progressive it not that they have a bad philosophy it that we have only bad people screwing up the “good” philosophy after all the philosophy only want good thing to happen for people, of course in their philosophy it alway the elite telling the masses what to do and somehow the so called intellectual betters can’t see the problem with that. It never dawns on the a thousand people make personal decision for themselves will in the end be better that a handful of people making the decisions since the handful cannot possibly foresee the future or all the needs and wants of the masses.

    • gator69 says:

      “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may
      be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than
      under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes
      sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for
      our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of
      their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same
      time likelier to make a Hell of earth. This very kindness stings with
      intolerable insult. To be “cured” against one’s will and cured of states which
      we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet
      reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants,
      imbeciles, and domestic animals.”

      – C.S. Lewis

    • Gail Combs says:

      From the book Willing Accomplices: How KGB Covert Influence Agents Created Political Correctness and Destroyed America by Kent Clizbe

      When he [Josef Stalin] became Comrade Number One, his main goal was to consolidate power. Of course, he used Marxism-Leninism to explain this move. Tom West described Stalin’s outlook:

      Only one man, the wisest and strongest of all, can be entrusted with the task of building socialism. And this man must not flinch from inflicting mass killings, deliberate famines, and torture involving the suffering and deaths of many millions of people. The Wise Man must employ whatever means he deems necessary to root out the millions of enemies of the people so that he can lead men to perpetual peace, happiness, and total communization.

      It is amazing to me that people bleating about ‘social justice’ have zero problem with murder by the millions as long as those millions are the ‘declared enemies’ of the totalitarians ‘people.’

      Who the hell do they think ‘the people’ are anyway?

  4. jamzw says:

    The riding trails of your Potemkin village were fine, but the foundations never were. Obama did not create that, he revealed it. The majority of black middle class affluence in Columbia is due to affirmative discrimination, and that class can be judged by the quality of their children.

    • kentclizbe says:

      Dr Goddard,

      You’re on the right track–but are apportioning guilt a bit too heavily on the PC-Progressives. While they created the opportunities, they don’t do the crimes.

      Reston, VA was spawned at about the same time as Columbia, MD. They both are part of the Planned Community/New Town movement. One of the key tenets was the importance of “mixing income levels” in the communities. Ha! Ha!

      “Part of the New Town movement, from the beginning Reston was designed to follow “guiding principles” in its development that would stress quality of life. Citizens would be able to live in the same community while going through different life cycles with different housing needs as they age. It was hoped that Restonians could live, work, and have recreation in their own community, with common grounds and scenic beauty shared equally regardless of income level…”

      They “meant well,” but the whole idea of transporting Section 8 (low income) housing grantees from DC/Baltimore out to the suburbs, didn’t create gangsters. The Section 8 areas are culturally corrupt. Moving the residents to Reston/Columbia simply brought their culture with them. The PC-Progs’ mistake is in their total misreading of human nature. They did not create the gangsters, they simply encourage the gangsters by absolving them of guilt for their actions, and provided new targets for their criminal endeavors.

      So, you’re experiencing the joy of “mixed income levels,” which the planners achieved by transporting Section 8 welfare cases from Baltimore to Columbia.

      And both Reston’s and Columbia’s extensive nature trails and bike paths are de facto “criminal highways.” If the punks themselves had designed a transportation system that gave them ready and steady access to human targets, as well as convenient access throughout the community to property (houses, cars, stores) targets. And all with quick, easy, convenient escape routes on foot or by bike.

      • emsnews says:

        ABSOLUTELY.

        In New York City I became rather infamous as the Housewife From Hell (named thus by the Daily News of NY and Channel 11) because I used to use my pole arm, for example, while wearing armor, to ‘bushwhack’ Prospect Park. That is, take down muggers, criminals and vandals.

        It was immense fun. And yes, people did shoot at me. They missed due to being lousy shots.

        And yes, I grew up on a ranch and can shoot guns with pretty good accuracy. But never carried due to this being illegal in NY and in my case, unnecessary.

        GREEN AREAS ARE CRIMINAL HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS.

        They love the wilderness inside the city and bike paths are particular hunting grounds for these criminals. They have few witnesses to crimes and unless someone is patrolling the place and there are seldom any cops there, the gangsters rule. By the way, I never used the paths when bushwhacking, I went behind the bushes and nailed each guy I captured from behind.

      • Andy DC says:

        Tony/Steve, you are now seeing the fruits of yet another failed attempt at socialist utopian idealism 50 years after it was first conceived. It made me want to puke then and still makes me want to puke now.

        The only reason Columbia was able to take off to begin with was the massive presence of Government parasites living in this area. In the real world, it never would have lasted.

  5. annieoakley says:

    Just wondering how you got away from the gang of teens? I have relatives and friends near Columbia and worry about their safety.

  6. gator69 says:

    Speaking of dangerous Progressives…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcs8WjULLRo

    Jeb Bush on Friday in New Hampshire called for the U.S. “to work with the rest of the world to negotiate a way to reduce carbon emissions.”

    The remarks at a “Politics & Eggs” event brought praise from billionaire Tom Steyer’s group NextGen Climate, which has spent millions in recent elections blasting Republicans on climate change.

    “Jeb Bush demonstrated leadership today on the issue of climate change—distancing himself from the other Republican presidential hopefuls and demonstrating why climate change doesn’t have to be a partisan issue,” the group said in an email to reporters. “Today in New Hampshire, Bush expressed his concern about the fact that the climate is changing and pledged to “to work with the rest of the world to negotiate a way to reduce carbon emissions.

    http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/the-buzz-florida-politics/climate-change-group-praises-jeb-bush-for-leadership/2225981

  7. bleakhouses says:

    Read a book called “White Girl Bleed a Lot” by Colin Flaherty. When you’re done Tony you will realized that you should be very happy that you were merely hassled. The group you encountered is the type most prone to violence in this Country.

    Now, you should get rid of that flat barred Fuji and get a more efficient, and fast, road bike so you can sprint away from trouble when you need to. I was thinking of your musings about your bike rides while I had a few moments escape from my agony while racing the Tour of the Battenkill up near Saratoga Springs NY this past Saturday. Beautiful country to ride you, you would love it.

    • gator69 says:

      Now, you should get rid of that flat barred Fuji and get a more efficient, and fast, road bike so you can sprint away from trouble when you need to.

      Or maybe one of these?

      http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/LAND_M1151_Frag_Kit_6_on_HMMWV_lg.jpg

      • Gail Combs says:

        That is my kind of vehicle Gator! Hope it has run flat tires….

        • Gail, I thought you preferred communion with nature …

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdX4JobRCUc

        • gator69 says:

          It has run-right-over-and-flatten-you-tires. 😉

        • Disillusioned says:

          I saw an armored military vehicle made by Ford that looked similarly to that at the truck show around 2006. It had a reinforced bottom plate that sloped upward from the center out to the perimeter of the vehicle. I talked to the representative standing there, and he said that was to allow explosive energy from a mine to disperse out all the sides of the vehicle (instead of energy going up upward into the vehicle, which he said was a vulnerability in units with flat bottoms, which troops were using at that time).

          There was a step up to the door, which was high because of the upward and outward sloping bottom. I saw some units in pictures that had a vertical facade plate behind the step up, so you didn’t see the sloping bottom from the side, which made it look a little more like the HumVee, but the high doors gave it away. I believe that facade behind the step-up to the door was made to give way to the outward force of an underside explosion.

          Ford was trying to get a contract with the military at the time, and I believe they eventually succeeded.

        • gator69 says:

          I believe this is what youi are looking for…

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRAP

        • Disillusioned says:

          Ford is not mentioned in the article, but this looks like the vehicle I saw at the truck show:
          http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/04/01/defense-department-designs-baby-mrap-for-war-in-afghanistan/

          What I was trying to describe, the article calls a “V-shaped blast-dispersing monocoque hull”

          And yes it has run-flat tires.

        • Disillusioned says:

          Thanks Gator. That’s the technology, but those MRAPs are much larger than the HumVee above, or the Ford I saw on display. The Ford looked a little smaller even than a HumVee. The Ford rep told me it was designed to be an answer to the lumbering large MRAPs, and was to be more nimble, like a HumVee, yet mine-resistant like the larger vehicles in your Wiki article.

        • gator69 says:

          It may be that it simply was not heavy enough. Like this…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFxfWupuxbE

        • Disillusioned says:

          “It may be that it simply was not heavy enough. Like this…”

          I don’t think so. 😉 The Oshkosh (who got the contract) and the Ford Baby MRAPs were both designed to be light utility – an answer to the vulnerability of a HumVees, with all the maneuverability of the HumVees, but with IED protection. They were not designed to replace replace MRAPs.

        • gator69 says:

          Were they equipped with parachutes? 😉

  8. Bruce says:

    You need to be careful. You perform a great service and you have powerful enemies. It would be so easy for them to eliminate you and chalk it up to a driveby. Please don’t make it easy for them. Be more careful in your daily life, please.

  9. gator69 says:

    Love this woman, and she has a great book entitled “Blacklash”, here she discusses the plantation our government has built.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv7fdzJ9T8g

  10. kentclizbe says:

    Why agonize over these issues?

    Why not just move across the river, to civilization in Virginia?

  11. Chris Barron says:

    “Last night I was hassled by some teenagers riding my bike home in the rain”

    Get a better lock and they’ll leave your bike alone 😉

    • What a stupid, pointless comment.

    • OK, Chris. You belong. But get better jokes.

    • Gail Combs says:

      No they won’t.

      In Boston they stole my bike. So I got an old $50 special and a $50 lock. They turned the bike into a pretzel when they could not steal it.

      • Chris Barron says:

        I stand corrected.

        Theft is thousands of years old.
        Gangs are probably older

        • Gail Combs says:

          Thugs on Horseback.

          It is always easier to get a gang of similar minded parasites together and raid a village and steal their provisions than it is to farm. The more intelligent Thugs on Horseback eventually became kings.

          Welcome to ‘civilization’

        • Chris Barron says:

          A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

          To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

          In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

          Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

          Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

          Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

          To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

          ———————–

          1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

          ————————

          2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

          ——————-

          3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

          —————–

          4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

          ———————-

          5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

          ———————-

          6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

          ——————–

          7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

          ——————-

          8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

          ——————-

          9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

          ———————

          10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

          ———————

          11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

          ———————

          12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

          ——————–

          13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

          —————–

          14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

          —————

          15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

          God Save the Queen!

          PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

        • Gail Combs says:

          Chris,
          My Grandmother was English and taught Latin in high school. My husband is a technical writer and represents the fifth generation of a newspaper family.

          At this point I am immune to Grammar Nazis.

        • Chris Barron says:

          Thats good for you but as anyone can see from looking back i haven’t corrected you…..I don’t even know if you made a mistake and don’t feel inclined to look now either.

        • Gail Combs says:

          But Chris, I spell color without the “U”!

        • Chris Barron says:

          It’s okay…… we don’t differentiate on colour any more 😉

  12. LCC says:

    As someone who also lives in Columbia, I can attest that it is getting worse. Entitlement causes problems. The entire community is beset by subsidized housing. Many people living around me have better housing than me – and they get it PAID FOR completely and with housing vouchers. What is the incentive to work when you begin losing benefits like:

    Free housing
    Free utilities
    Free cable and internet
    Free transportation
    Free food
    Free school activities and meals
    Free healthcare

    ???

  13. Aphan says:

    My, what beautiful long hair you have Steve! 🙂

  14. RegretLeft says:

    I honestly worry about you … there’s going to be an “accident” – way too much day to day personal info in this blog … get off the bike – that’s the “accident” waiting to happen – a lower profile surely would not be cowardly… if we lose you … – is there anyone else out there saying what you are saying ?? – I enjoy (if that’s the correct term) your work immensely!

  15. Tab Numlock says:

    If you want peace, work for conclusive wars and an end to forced integration. Do-gooder social tinkerers and “peace keeping forces” cause most of the strife. While we’re at it, get rid of the welfare-police state which has become a poor substitute for husbands/fathers. Marriage would come roaring back and the demand for illegal labor would evaporate over night.

  16. chuck725 says:

    One of your best posts Steve. I’m traveling out side of New Mexico this week. It’s quite stunning to see places like Philadelphia and the stunning contrasts of living while driving just a few blocks. The most “progressive” cities are the most apauling when it comes to true diversity.

  17. Gail Combs says:

    Colorado Wellington,

    That ram looks like the guy I have out in my pasture. I am just waiting for him to fatten up a bit before I put him in the freezer. Then I will ‘commune’ with him and a nice glass of wine. YUM!

  18. Gail Combs says:

    “…. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion…..”

    WRONG! American beer’s are called Olde Frothingslosh!

    http://www.taverntrove.com/beerpics/Olde-Frothingslosh-Pale-Stale-Ale-Bottles-Paper-Label-Pittsburgh-Brewing-Company_31095-1.jpg

    The Pale Stale Ale with the foam on the bottom. (I hate American beer)

  19. The Great Walrus says:

    The plural of “beer” is “beers” — in all languages.

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