Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

An essay done by a student many years ago, showing how scientific analysis should be done.

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, “…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

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19 Responses to Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

  1. Lance says:

    saw that years ago and loved it!

  2. Theyouk says:

    As they say…”The Devil is in the details…” ;-)

  3. Robertv says:

    When God created woman Hell was born.


    Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be

    • arn says:

      It was Adams fault.

      God came to him and said:”I’ve built the perfect woman.
      Beautiful,logical,funny+a perfect cook.
      But she will cost you an arm an a leg”

      Adam asked :”What do i get for rib?”

  4. frederik wisse says:

    Proof of the good intentions .

  5. Disillusioned says:

    … with which the is paved?

  6. arn says:

    As it is said that space is expanding
    the earth(+hell) should be expanding too.
    (let’s say the space between atoms and even between the atomic core& its electrons).
    As the energyoutput of the sun is not increasing(i think it should decrease as the increase of space is making the sun bigger,therefore the same energy is released through a bigger surface+less atoms left for core fusion as result of conversion and expanding)
    the earth should be cooling it gets less and less energy the more the universe expands=proof for global cooling.
    (now create a billion dollar scam with this+extraordinary income and you’d be surprised how many scientists are willing to prove me right and pull a consesus out of their butts)

  7. griff says:

    If we consult Dante, we find the 9th circle of Hell is indeed frozen, with sinners frozen into the ice. Otherwise Hell is generally not as fiery as you might think…!

    • scott says:

      So griff, call, write, text, post or email when you get there and tell us the conditions.
      Do you need help packing your suit case and when does your mode of transportation depart?

  8. NavarreAggie says:

    I read this blog every day and comment somewhat often. I generally enjoy the perspective and banter.

    However, name-calling and ad hominem attacks against a very misguided Griff does not further one’s scientific argument. In many ways, it is the same tactic the other side uses to silence dissenters and, actually in my opinion, reduces one’s credibility.

    I appreciate Tony’s frequent, relatively dispassionate, data-base rebuttals to the CAGW propaganda we all face on a daily basis….they are definitely a model for all to emulate.

    I read all of griff’s responses, and I don’t ever recall a personal attack in his hopelessly misguided quest to convert this entire site to AGW sympathizers. If I’m mistaken in this, then I apologize in advance, but it would be nice to see a little less name calling and a little more respect and decency towards griff.

    I have no similar sympathy for other vindictive trolls that pop up irregularly.

    Now, flame away…I suspect it’s coming.

  9. Scott allen says:

    How serious of a discussion can you have with an article about a guy NOT have sex with a female and drawing the conclusion that Hell must be hot.
    I was replying to Griff, who was using a fictional account of Hell and others who had posted comments about “The Far Side” and “Bloom County” (hardly serious discussion materials) and I was paraphrasing Houdini’s encoded message that his wife was to decode when he reached the otherwise.
    Nowhere in my post did I threat or wish ill on Griff. I just challenged him to prove the temperature of Hell, the sarcasm/humor was lost on some.

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