NSA already has everyone’s personal information, and can hack their way into Obamacare – saving millions of Americans the aggravation of Obama’s useless $600 million website.
For a small additional fee, NSA will do your Christmas shopping for you – and offer a 100% guarantee that it is what your loved ones have been telling their friends they actually want.
“Only 1% of files leaked by former US intelligence analyst Edward Snowden have been published by the Guardian newspaper, its editor tells MPs.”
We know one one hundredth of what NSA is doing.
The worse part is, NSA only knows 10% of what their equipment is doing….
“and offer a 100% guarantee that it is what your loved ones have been telling their friends they actually want.”
An AK-47 ?
Or equivalent.
If I ran the NSA, the agency would never have to worry about funding again. Think of it… enough private information to blackmail every politician in Washington to force a vote however I wanted. Enough inside information to foresee every corporate CEO decision; never lose money on my investments again! Enough personal information on the judges that even the Supreme Court would find itself ruling in your favor every time!
The possibilities are endless. Of course the people who run our intelligence agencies would NEVER do anything like that, right? After all, they are public servants! Right?
“NSA collects 5 billion records a day…”
Sounds a lot like nuclear waste. All too soon, you begin to run out of storage space. And if it ever begins to leak out into the blogosphere, we’ll all die slow and agonizing deaths from aggravation.