Breaking News At NCDC!

After infilling, homogenization and adjusting for goalie differences, NCDC has determined that the US team has easily won in Brazil.

The US team has also been advised that in order to speed their return back through US immigration, they should leave all their documentation behind. This will fast track them across the border.

About Tony Heller

Just having fun
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11 Responses to Breaking News At NCDC!

  1. markstoval says:

    I was under the impression that the team was supposed to go to Europe first to pick up their Nobel prizes. Does that come later?

  2. An NCDC official speaking on a condition of anonymity pronounced the results fully settled but cautioned that individual scores will be changing daily in the coming years, resulting in even more decisive victories for the US team.

    Coach Jürgen Klinsmann could not be reached for comment. The team is assumed to be led across the border by a ruthless coyote known as El Caníbal. The migrants are expected to arrive at a Border Patrol processing facility in Murrieta, CA in the early morning hours.

  3. philjourdan says:

    ANd declare they are not Americans.

  4. Latitude says:

    they should leave all their documentation behind…and claim to be 15 years old

  5. Chip Bennett says:

    But in order to produce the hockey-stick model of US soccer’s improving success, they’re going to have to hide the… ahem warming caused by Brandi Chastain in 1999.

  6. Hugh K says:

    Excellent Tony!

  7. Matthias says:

    Great post!

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