Settled Religion

Last week, the paedophile head of the IPCC announced that climate change is a religion

pachauri_my_religion12801

Today, the head of the EPA said climate change is not a religion.

ScreenHunter_1180 Mar. 04 15.27

  1. Repent of your carbon sins
  2. Have faith in the one true greenhouse gas
  3. Pay your carbon absolution
  4. Deniers face eternal hellfire
  5. A great flood will come unless all believe in CO2
  6. Disease famine pestilence and war face all, as long as doubters remain among us.

About Tony Heller

Just having fun
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27 Responses to Settled Religion

  1. gator69 says:

    The Warmist’s Creed

    I believe in AGW, the Mother of all apocalypse, destroyer of heaven and earth.

    I believe in Al Gore, his only Movie, ‘An Inconvenient truth’, which was conceived by the Holy Alarmists, born of the fascist left, suffered under scrutiny, was panned, died, and was buried, it descended to the discount aisle. On an absurd day it rose again; it ascended into legend, it is in the DVD players of the faithful, and it will come to judge the deniers, and the evil oil companies.

    I believe in the Unholy molecule, the holy IPCC Church, the communion of grantologists, the forgiveness of carbon, the resurrection of communism, and the lie everlasting.

    Amen.

    • Michael 2 says:

      Usually I Chuckle Out Loud (COL) but this time I really did Laugh Out Loud.

    • Edmonton Al says:

      An award winner……………..;^D

    • Dave1billion says:

      You left out Ephesians 2:8:

      “Because it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith; not by anything of your own …,”

      So the works of man (i.e – any examination of the empirical data) are beside the point.

  2. Michael 2 says:

    Too funny, but dodging.

    Climate change is not a religion; but a “religion” has sprang up around it, using its name to advance certain political agendas.

    Martin Luther was not a religion, but a relgion sprang up around him. His name is used to advance certain agendas.

  3. Jeremiah Burton says:

    #3 should read “carbon Indulgences”

  4. Llanero says:

    There is no god but Gaia, and she has many profits, er uh, prophets.

  5. nielszoo says:

    4. Deniers face eternal incineration by solar concentrator.
    There, fixed it for ya. (Hellfire is burning non-renewable elements from Mother Gaia and will not be practiced… even if we must let the peons freeze to death

  6. KTM says:

    Sprinkle in a few references to “climate change”, and this isn’t too far off…

    “NEW YORK—As a major winter storm continued its advance toward New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio advised residents Monday to make peace with whatever higher power they call God, for all shall meet their death in the coming tempest. “The furious hoarfrost bearing down upon us knows neither mercy nor reason, and all within the five boroughs will perish, cowering in their brittle dwellings,” said de Blasio, adding that none would find succor from the gale save those favored by providence to pass quietly in their sleep. “This shall be a tempest the likes of which has never been glimpsed by man or beast. Clutch your babes close to your breast and take small comfort in knowing that they will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever.” De Blasio added that, barring an unexpected intensification in the storm, normal subway and bus service would resume Wednesday.”

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/nyc-mayor-reconcile-yourselves-with-your-god-for-a,37850/

  7. Robert B says:

    You forgot the festival of the UN Climate Change Summit to be held Mogadishu this year (from memory). It is central to many countries that will experience the most severe effects of climate change, cheap, nothing to see that would distract the attendees and would generate much needed tourist money to the economy.

  8. cheshirered says:

    You’re going to have to stop doing this sort of thing, squire. You’re making complete fools of too many crack climate / political ‘experts’. There’ll be a number out on you, you know.

  9. MrX says:

    Forget where I read this… may have been on this site even. But AGW isn’t like a religion. A religion has an element of faith where a person believes something without proof. An AGW believer goes much further. They believe in something despite concrete proof of the opposite. That’s a whole other ball game.

  10. Rick Lynch says:

    And don’t forget that the missing heat will one day rise from the bottom of the ocean and cause the world to end.

  11. B says:

    You forgot punishment and excommunication of believers who deviate on any aspect of the religion’s dogma.

  12. Timo Soren says:

    Most heartily agree with most, but the paed…. word is very powerful, is it appropriate?

  13. Rico L says:

    Climate Change – 2.8M years ago, started the Human Race…..

    http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-31718336

    If it is cold, wear a jacket, if it is hot, take it off……..

  14. bleakhouses says:

    one gas to rule them all.

  15. pak152 says:

    check out this video of Michael Crichton
    http://youtu.be/Vv9OSxTy1aU?

  16. hannuko says:

    All must believe in the all-knowing, all-seeing, kind and loving scientific concensus, who wants to save us from our carbon-sins, caused by our unnecessarily confortable way of life.

    All we have to do is have faith that such an entity exists, try to minimize the amount of carbon sins we do, and pay the self-appointed, sin-eliminating experts money for neutralizing those sins we could not avoid doing. If we don’t pay, we end up in a hot place.

    Now and then there are holy days, during which those who believe in the said entity perform symbolic rituals to remind themselves of their faith, and show others the extent of their beliefs.

    So it is silly to think this has some kind of religious context. Pure science.

  17. Neal S says:

    AGW is something beyond religion. It has been proven false, yet there are those who continue to believe beyond all reason.

  18. Nobama says:

    I did not have sex with that molecule….

  19. Beau Jeste says:

    Is there any references i could look at in respect of Mr Pachauri’s sexual pecadillos?

  20. mbabbitt says:

    Climate change is a proxy for true religion.

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