In order to become a highly respected climate scientist, follow these simple guidelines.
- Adjust recent temperatures upwards, and older temperatures downwards
- Adjust the data to compensate for the fact that UHI effects cause incorrectly low recent temperature readings
- Because they don’t agree with the adjusted temperatures from steps one and two, throw out all tree ring data after 1960 (CO2 messed the trees up)
- Refuse to debate
- Call anyone who objects to your criminal activity a paid oil industry stooge
- Be welcomed as a hero at the White House











