97% Certain Doublespeak At The Guardian

The Guardian is certain that the UK is doomed to heavy rain and hot temperatures.

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The Observer view on global warming | Opinion | The Guardian

The Guardian is also certain that the UK is in permanent drought.

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Drought may be new norm for UK, says environment secretary | Environment | The Guardian

The Guardian is also certain that Britain’s climate will be Siberian by the year 2020.

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Pentagon tells Bush: climate change will destroy us | Environment | The Guardian

Summarizing, Britain’s climate is becoming very hot, very cold, very wet and very dry. All at the same time. Guardian experts explain this quite authoritatively, and censor anyone sane who happens to show up at their comment section trying to present a rational point of view.

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21 Responses to 97% Certain Doublespeak At The Guardian

  1. The best way to understand the Guardian’s output is to understand that it’s run like a University rag mag – cheap journalists with dotty ideas bundled together and sold to a gullible audience not expecting very high standards.

  2. Sara Hall says:

    I see they closed the comments after just four, which is a bit of a shame, as reading the crazy reader stuff is often entertainment to go with my morning coffee.

    • CheshireRed says:

      They used to get hundreds of comments in an exceptionally lively BTL reader forum. That was back in the day. Now, due to banning almost every sceptical voice, not so much. Ironic that when they shut down interesting debate they drive away readers and ruin their click-rates. The cull started in earnest when the Pause began to get very annoying. Facts, eh? Their loss.

      • Sara Hall says:

        I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I know one or two Guardianistas in real life and am often stunned into silence by the nonsense they spout, gleaned no doubt from the daily guff they’ve been reading.

  3. Richard says:

    They probably will get worse as they were worse back in the 17-19th centuries.

    “Conventional methods of analysing river flow gauge records cannot answer these questions because upland catchments usually have no or very short records of water levels of around 30 or 40 years. In fact, recent careful scientific analysis of palaeoflood deposits (flood deposits dating back hundreds of years) in the UK uplands shows that 21st-century floods are not unprecedented in terms of both their frequency (they were more frequent before 1960) and magnitude (the biggest events occurred during the 17th–19th centuries).”

    http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/unprecedented-storms-and-floods-are-more-common-than-we-think

  4. gator69 says:

    What exactly is the Guardian protecting?

  5. jafo says:

    i think they have covered every possibility thus defining climate!

  6. Griff says:

    The guardian isn’t inventing this stuff – unlike some websites covering climate – but reporting it.

    There is no doubt that the UK climate has shifted towards intense winter rainfall and summer surface flooding events: that doesn’t prevent summer drought in addition. The jet stream patterns which have produced this are extremely likely to continue.

    The winters may yet get colder: that’s a possible outcome of changes in the currents in the Atlantic.

    • gator69 says:

      It’s true! It’s true! The crown has made it clear.
      The climate must be perfect all the year.
      A law was made a distant moon ago here:
      July and August cannot be too hot.
      And there’s a legal limit to the snow here
      In Camelot.
      The winter is forbidden till December
      And exits March the second on the dot.
      By order, summer lingers through September
      In Camelot.
      Camelot! Camelot!
      I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
      But in Camelot, Camelot
      That’s how conditions are.
      The rain may never fall till after sundown.
      By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
      In short, there’s simply not
      A more congenial spot
      For happily-ever-aftering than here
      In Camelot.
      Camelot! Camelot!
      I know it gives a person pause,
      But in Camelot, Camelot
      Those are the legal laws.
      The snow may never slush upon the hillside.
      By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.
      In short, there’s simply not
      A more congenial spot
      For happily-ever-aftering than here
      In Camelot.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePj0c-BNR8U

      • just a thought says:

        Then inexorably CO2 rose,
        causing forgetfulness of poetry
        …and prose;
        leading leftists to go bats,
        finding entertainment in nonsense
        …like cats.

    • oeman50 says:

      And your proof that there has been a climactic shift in the winter rainfall pattern? Doesn’t it flood in the winter with that increased rainfall. And if the rainfall has intensified in the winter, why is the flooding in the summer? Does the lack of dredging in the rivers to keep them more “natural” have any influence on the water carrying ability of the rivers increasingly being filled with silt?

      I thought jet stream was “weather.”

      And where is your evidence that the currents in the Atlantic will change? Or are you just getting that from models that have no predictive ability on ocean currents?

  7. Jim Hunt says:

    Can you read Tony?

    The Grauniad was reporting a statement by “the environment secretary Caroline Spelman” who allegedly said:

    “With large parts of the south and south-east of England officially in drought, and areas of the Midlands at risk”

    As you surely must know by now, down here in Soggy South West England the situation is rather different:

    https://storify.com/GreatWhiteCon/dumb-and-dumberer-rain-in-manchester

    • gator69 says:

      What does weather have to do with climate change? Is this your best defense for killing 21,000 innocent humans every day?

      • Colorado Wellington says:

        He is shaky on the concept.

      • Gail Combs says:

        “What does weather have to do with climate change? GoreBull Warming.

        Don’t fall into the trap of letting the progressives control the language and therefore the debate.

        The weasels know darn well it will be getting very cold soon and that’s is what the Pause was about — top of the curve — and that is why they switch from manmade global warming to climate change.

        Now they can blame ANYTHING on humans and the gullible idiots like Jimmy Boy will believe it.

        Just wait a decade or so and Jimmy Boy will be spewing nonsense about humans causing the increase in Arctic Ice…. If the refugees don’t remove his head first that is.

    • Billy Liar says:

      Jim, how do you know it’s summer in Cornwall?

      The rain is warmer.

    • AndyG55 says:

      In the UK, a drought is a week without rain. !

      • Gail Combs says:

        I was actually in the UK during a drought (1975?). And I do mean IN, we got to walk into a cave entrance that you usually have to cave dive. AND I actually got a sunburn walking to the cave!

      • just a thought says:

        “In the UK, a drought is a week without rain. !”

        OH, thanks. I always thought it was one inch instead of two.

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